Friday, December 01, 2023

Sandeep Vanga"s Animal - An Afterthought (Spoilers)

A very rare event had occurred last night. I went to watch the first day first show of Animal by Sandeep reddy Vanga. The reasons are very personal. As much as Arjun Reddy got the flack it had got, and I represent the weaker sex that it apparently aimed at demeaning, I have to admit, I sat there on the edge of my seat, sucked into the emotion of the protagonist and his characterization. Before Sandeep's new film released, I did hear him out in his interviews and an admirer of sorts started taking form. 

I have to add here, that Vanga's films are not for the faint hearted, the moral police or the ones that get triggered and offended easily - nothing wrong with these folks, and nothing wrong with Vanga either and I'd spare my personal judgement about the person he is, based on the characters and the voice he applies to them. 

Not until recently did I know he was filming with Ranbir Kapoor this movie named Animal and like it happens with big films, I caught a whiff of the teasers and trailers and soon enough was swooning over the songs that made to youtube - The visual quality of his work had enhanced exponentially and I was excited to go see what he had to offer. 

The review contains Spoilers, please don't read it if you would like to watch the film in your own perspective

The film opens with a sequence of a young boy pining to come home to wish his father. The father in question is the 'richest man in India' and by that virtue is missing in action for the whole day. I was watching with intent to feel what I was longing to feel - the dad son love story. But from the word go, the emotion went on vacation but what followed was some engaging hour and a half.

There's the usual boy, girl, the family - but the boy stops at nothing to safeguard his family. A sequence reminds us of Vanga's former film where the boy drags his sister to her college to face off with students that tease her. 

Then there's the wide pelvic boned leading lady that the macho Alpha male talks out of 'fresh out of the oven' engagement and just like that flies off to a glacier to get hitched. The plane sequence made me feel like I had a video game console in my hand - and so did many sequences that followed. There's some bits and bobs that seared into my brain though - like the fact that all of this larger than life machoness  saved himself for marriage and he explicitly, without any prompting, makes a promise to his woman that 'he would never cheat' 

Disowned by daddy dearest that he is supposed to pine for, he disappears to the US for six years and resurfaces as a new, aged and improved version with two kids and wifey in tow when he learns that there was a murder attempt on his dad. He seamlessly takes over 'Swastik' steels - a straight one mind you - as he drops cues at the symbolism further down and does such law and order defying stuff that's only possible, like I said, with a video game console. Body doubles come in and are eliminated in a literal shower of bullets.  (by literal i don't mean the cali girl literal but the literal literal ) 

By the way, obsession for the father is patchy. It is erratic, it is eccentric and the borderline narcissistic end tête-à-tête   with the dad made me do a face palm - as it felt more like a 'look how much I loved you, though how much you didn't love me' than a 'I do not care what I got, I love you as you are'.  Didn't I tell ya, the emotion went on vacation from the word go. 

There's a revenge plot. One murder that happens in a board room. Massacres after massacres, like I said, akin to holding a video game console. Fictitious mass killing machine that comes with a comic relief in tow - the interval block left me in a trance, where in I wasn't thinking much. But I wasn't bored yet, probably because I was looking for some providence, some redemption, some saving grace in the next two hours to come. 

But none came. Except the breaking of character  - our hyper alpha bad boy, that lectures his cousins about fidelity and remember? - without prompts, promises his wife of the same is seen straying and how! I have to grant it to the director that I was so taken aback by the character twist that it didn't occur to me that this could be a red- herring. This comes post a brush with death (nay, he doesn't make it unscratched from the video game sequence ) and a heart transplant. In the sea of fantasy, Vanga attempted to make the plot life like - and that was ofcourse to render our bad boy deaf and face him off with the dumb antagonist bad boy. There were probably metaphors, or were just forced to give us a few laughs in the gory, bloodbath of the climax - God knows, or Vanga knows. But I'll get to the interesting part related to the infidelity  - the high horsepower, high libido lad didn't do it all for fun - but to save his father and bust the ploy of the dumb (non speaking) antagonist. So he does go and confess to wifey. The exchange might cringe the 'holier than thou' brigade but to me it was a sliver of emotion in a video game. I probably welled up - from the female perspective and the male perspective even but that's me, getting the sub text. I am waiting for the activists to come out of wood work and throw bricks as we speak and I'd be relieved if they didn't.

I walked out the film without focusing on the epilogue. I was told there was some ground breaking done for part 2 but I was told to enjoy video games in moderation, so I might not really need to know what perpetrated when the end credits rolled. 

Ranbir is a good actor. It is common knowledge. So is Vijay Devarakonda. So is Shahid Kapoor. Vanga is a stellar director and the common denominator - so go figure.The sub text is par excellence. The BGM resonated with my heart beats and pulsed across my nerves. I really couldn't focus much on the production values as I was preoccupied looking for something - no I didn't drop my wedding band in the theater and I didn't stray from my seat with a torch. Heck I didn't take a loo break even. But I was tied to the seat. I glanced only a few times at my watch - but I was preoccupied, let me think - Bingo - I was looking for the plot. The love, the revenge, the emotion, the resonance, the endearment I felt for Arjun Reddy I didn't feel for Animal - though they both seem to be obsessed with one kind of love or another. The former was relatable, he existed in a relatable world - the latter though - didn't live in a normal world and he points that out to his lady even  while they fly off to make love in the sky like Alladin and Jasmine. Wait, oops- they didn't make love did they? but these guys made. Anyway, this isn't a fantasy. I really don't know what the genre is but I do know that it held me captive for 24 hours and I sit here typing all this out to figure out how I felt post the Animal bite.

Sandeep reddy Vanga is a rebel child with a crazy vision and loads of intellect but without cause. He'll find his cause soon and I mean it in all earnestness and no, I won't hold it against him that I he didn't make it possible for me to find the connection with Animal though truth be told, I walked out feeling like I wanted to date the Animal - no no, actually upon due diligence , I actually concluded  that I wanted to be the Animal - in parts. Strictly in parts. :)

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

Titles are overrated

But wait, I barely began

After a long day of doing 

The most insignificantly 

significant things.

Where does a blog entry figure in this grind?

On top of it all, if one can day dream.

Cause getting the slow roasted potatoes 

To the perfect Shade of  red

Rules the roost over this absurd spread.

But while i pound the garlic and dry coconut in the mortar and pestle,

I absentmindedly muse over starting my blog with “But wait…”

Like you are about to leave, or as if you are even here! 

I dream to banter in paragraphs 

That make you gasp for breath 

As if you are experiencing something exhilarating..

Like a rollercoaster ride or a thriller on the edge of the seat!

Then, gentle reminder- there’s no method to this madness.

It ebbs and flows, once obsessing over a title at length 

And at an other time 
Dismissing it as an overhead!

(It could possibly be the time crunch, the body aching to snooze)

But wait…Or maybe don’t!

No wait…

And come back again.

Tomorrow the method might find some meaning.

Monday, September 18, 2023


Photo by lil artsy: pexels

How much is too much?

How little is too little?

Is the ocean too much 

And the sardine too little ?

Mountain too much n the mouse too little?

Is the sky too much and the sparrow too little?

What if the love is too much 

And the heart too little?

If the spirit is too much

And the space too little?

Why is finite chased n infinite ignored?

Like wealth is stacked and generosity slashed? 

Is the cosmos too much 

And the cell too little?

The requirement too much 

And the reserve too little?

Like the treasures too much 

And this life too little…

And this verse (literally) too much 

And the sense too little? 


Saturday, September 16, 2023


 Oh yeah, it doesn’t make sense 

That title!

Is there even a word as such?

There isn’t.

But banter I must,

As muses take a weekend break

While I come n go 

Shuttling between intent and inertia.

What’s there to ramble about?

Really much! If i must confess 

Instead of bantering! 

I swear it’s so noisy in there

Upstairs in the grey caves.

Now, when concepts I have to shun

And dwell in silence 

Cause that’s where the witness sees

The one that chatters.

So I spell verse in reverse

And gather my husk

To put it in the green waste! 

And what remains is silence 

That needs this doodles

To be perceived 

Or so I think,

The confused lil thing that I am. 

Thursday, September 14, 2023


I didn’t have to ask

If the sky was blue or blood was red!

But i ask

I don’t get  cues 

That my banter is read…

 i know..

And still i ask

I know Somehow that these texts are awaited

Cherished even?

Like a prophecy is whispered into my ears. 

I didn’t have to ask if roses bloom

Or if rivers flow..

They do, i know! And i ask. 

I didn’t have to wonder if love exists..

I see it n feel it

For me, and flowing from me..

Emerging and expressing itself 

In elaborate words.

Like i need words to show 

What needs to be felt 

Like I need answers to obsolete questions

Yet I ask 

As if I am Asking 

If the Earth is round and the sea is deep! 

Universal truths i discount, just for the heck of it..and question them :) 

When i was born, I know I brought 

A legacy, a destiny..

Of love n joy

Of poems and letters 

Some are willed to you

Some have your name written on them..

I bring them to you and ask

Do you look for them?

Pretending i don’t know!

Or maybe because when you reply and say yes,

There’s a joy that emerges upon seeing you

In your responses:) 

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

This n That

 I actually blogged yesterday. It was about a film I watched recently - The Banshees of Inisherin. I was deeply moved by what I could read in between this brilliantly stirring plot. And I wanted to share my perspective, my personal take on the abstract plot line and the open ended finishing. Somewhere down the line, I felt like I wasn't really capturing what my real take away was - I was feeling a short of words - very underwhelmed so to speak, like they were stuck in my throat. But I wanted to keep the commitment  to write and I didn't have the time or will to rewrite and so I published the post which didn't cut my approval.

Shortly I realize there was some sort of a glitch in the post and I left it as is, thinking I'd tackle the fixing later. Someone who is a regular here sent me a screenshot of the blog, actually walking me through unpublishing it and making sure it was just a glitch and making sure my account was safe. So the underwhelm I felt as I published it turned into an overwhelm of gratitude for having this friend in my life. We sat through it since noon, trying to copy paste and republish it, until I realized it was acting up and concluded that the universe is giving me cues to get the review out like it is intended to be, and not dish out a watered down version - just to keep the commitment.

Ever since, I tried to rewrite it, only to be greeted with a lot of pauses as I maneuvered  through my daily grind. I thought I'd do my easy peasy lemon squeezy short cut and scan around the house, to find a muse and feign a verse. But then I thought - why not do a this n that post? So here I am into the third paragraph, not really knowing where I am going with this - or that, for that matter!

I had a tough few days, a emotional stir. Dunno where to blame it really, or I probably do know. When I go through these upheavals, like most humans do (unless they are realized and live in the woods, away from human interactions and instigations) I seem to have developed a conscious coping mechanism, thanks the pseudo  gyaan I acquired through reading the many spiritual texts over the past six years. I watch the state of the mind like a third party and go - Ok, Bee is feeling low, so Bee should be prepared to feel high soon and vice versa. The human Mind - I hear, is in a vicious  cycle of being happy and sad, an infinite thought loop- somewhat like a yo yo, up and down. 

It renders a lot of power to know this much and take the energy off of the emotion and vest it into the observation.  But long before this half baked Yogini took form, I derived the same exact wisdom from a lyric by Gulzaar ji, from this film named Dil se.

It says - "Gham Dil ke bas chulbule hai, Paani ke ye bulbuley hai, Bhujte hai bante rehte hai" 

Which means "The sorrows of the heart are just naughty, Water bubbles they are, They form, and they pop"

They say that the lesson appears when the student is ready. And when we keep our eyes open and our hearts receptive, I think we get all the wisdom and support we need right within our reach. It could be an Oscar contending screen play, a glitch that pauses a blog post, a fluctuating emotion or a lyric from a bygone memory in the distant past.

After all - life they say, is too short to be little. And in there - 

How much to learn? 

How much to live? 

How little time???

(Pictured - My favorite yellow roses, living it up on my kitchen island, not caring how long they would last )

Sunday, September 10, 2023


 Photo by cottonbro studio:

Sometimes I tell ya
I feel like I am peeling an onion
As I flip past the pages of life.
The flavor cutting through the air
The spicy pungency
Filling my senses
While I wipe my eyes
And shut them wrinkled
As I slice through the layers of lushness.

These bits, later, would add to the flavor of the dish
Elevating it to epic proportions.
But the chore it is, I tell ya
To cut em and cry.
I remember the random suggestions I heard -
Keep them in the fridge, place them in water
You won't tear up!
Somewhat like the advice one gets
Rummaging through life.
Keep em journaled, talk them out
Take em to a walk, toss em in a bin
Now when the verse goes reverse
And the block makes you grin
What would one blog about?
Layers? tears? onions? life?

Saturday, September 09, 2023

Return of the Ramble


I fly past a daily grind
Don't let it trick you - this flight.
It isn't anything graceful.
Rather a lumber
And a tumbling down
From chore to chore
For more to some more
Of Godforsaken things.
I love them mostly
Or believe I do.
Except the dishing part!
That, I love? I do not!

Suds in the sink, form and pop
As I watch them in preoccupation
The visual seems to register
And then doesn't!
Pop - The reminder.
Pop up, that is
Of the ramble that awaits here
To be doodled
Almost in an urgency, 
Like someone somewhere is waiting
To see what I would ponder about
And string in aplomb
Or settle in stupor
Scattering scrambled words to make a note.

I ramble, and I roam
I settle as I reach home -
The one that is abstract
A heap of wordage that cocoons me
And aids my metamorphosis.
If you are here,
Who ever you are..
I know not!
But you should know
I draw from you, as much as I write for me.
For us may be?
In this doodle where words and pictures blur
And become one.
Just like you and me.

Photo by Andrew:

Friday, September 08, 2023


Up there
The things I reach out to.
In the other realm
Birds made of feathers,
Made of metal.
That graze the skies
Serenading the blues

I wish to take a swoosh
Defying gravity
Going about, looking down 
And letting out a laugh
At the mirage that it is, 
The illusion, the deception 
The Laugh in question
Is to acknowledge 
That I am an idiot - 
By choice.
That I partake in the parade
Knowingly, with full consent.
Now, isn't ignorance a ticket
To some slack?
I neither have  the ticket, nor the slack.

Awareness they say
Even when paired with ignorance
Is a virtue.
(Ah, there goes the vicious cycle again,
The urge to defend and acquit the culprit.)

I look up to let in
And the 'let go' when I look down
Waits patiently in queue.
I don't have forever
That should be the message on a sticky note
Displayed conspicuously
In my eye span.

Reminders galore
Up there
The grazing branches of trees,
The little critters buzzing in the morning sun
Promising the light of the creation.

There's a vast space out there
To spread and rejoice
What do I choose?
A dungeon of delusions
Landing me back on my bum
Right into where I intend not to be.
What fetish, I make out of this maze.

Photo by Valeriia Miller:

Thursday, September 07, 2023


Would you  get me
If I talked in pictures?
I said nothing
And flashed images.
Would you get me
If I talked in silence
Filing my nails.
Polishing them and stealing a glance
From the couch I plonk in 
As I wait for the varnish to dry.
Would you get me
If I said I had to say nothing
But I was fibbing
And am dying to pour it all out!
Would you get me if I sat idle
Did nothing!
Said nothing.
Just lingered around
Like the smell of a fragrance
After the person had left the room.
Would you get me if I am trying not to be gotten
Sulking, throwing a mute fit of sorts.
Would you get me if I ignored you
As a means to get noticed by you.
Would you clean my mess
And hug me for 30 seconds.
Yes, just 30 seconds.
That's all it takes to regulate emotions
I was told, by someone qualified to tell.
What amusement it is
That all that can't be gotten 
While wanting to be gotten
But pretending to not to
Can be cured with something
As simple as
A hug.

 Photo by Whicdhemein - Pexels.

Wednesday, September 06, 2023


 I am the tiny little dog

The female dog

There's a word for it - Bitch.

But somehow it feels like an expletive 

To use it  publicly.

They say 'Bitch', like it is a swear word.

A bad word.

'Bitch' is an insult kept in a cuss, wrapped in abuse.

But the tiny little dog I am

I don't care for treats, so the plans to placate

Motivate, manipulate - if any

Won't fly!

I am too big for my britches. 

Oh I mean, too big for my mass

I have no perception for size.

I treat all as equals. Like soles. 

I stand up, pulling myself on my forelegs

Over exaggerating my slight existence.

I don't care much. I don't care enough.

Wait, there's fine font!

But when I do care, when the treats are abstract

And the bonds metaphysical

I die caring.

That's all I do. Care.

Pretty much that. 

And that's plenty much to do

Size is just a measure.

Wealth is just a number.

But love is beyond. And Above.

(Pro tip - Use that as a treat)

I might be tamed.

I am a tiny little dog 

(Yes, tiny and little are repetitive )

(But just so you get the point, that I am really, REALLY little)

There's another word for all these excess words


But that's a cuss word.

Its funny how meanings shuffle

And distort.

What difference does a label make?

I am a tiny little dog.

I was supposed to be house broken,

Well trained.



I swear they even gave me an accreditation .

Good girls don't cuss.

They don't bark. 

Good girls can't be Bitches

And Vice versa...

But I am a tiny little dog.

Screw what the etymology  says.

There's one word for it


Put me and the my word together and it becomes.....

Good girl Bitch.

yikes, that sounds like an oxymoron.

But they are synonymous. Much like tiny n little. 

But whatever!

Happy Birthday - Tiny little Good girl Bitch ;)

Thank you - Photo by Terrance Raper - Pexels.