This n That

 I actually blogged yesterday. It was about a film I watched recently - The Banshees of Inisherin. I was deeply moved by what I could read in between this brilliantly stirring plot. And I wanted to share my perspective, my personal take on the abstract plot line and the open ended finishing. Somewhere down the line, I felt like I wasn't really capturing what my real take away was - I was feeling a short of words - very underwhelmed so to speak, like they were stuck in my throat. But I wanted to keep the commitment  to write and I didn't have the time or will to rewrite and so I published the post which didn't cut my approval.

Shortly I realize there was some sort of a glitch in the post and I left it as is, thinking I'd tackle the fixing later. Someone who is a regular here sent me a screenshot of the blog, actually walking me through unpublishing it and making sure it was just a glitch and making sure my account was safe. So the underwhelm I felt as I published it turned into an overwhelm of gratitude for having this friend in my life. We sat through it since noon, trying to copy paste and republish it, until I realized it was acting up and concluded that the universe is giving me cues to get the review out like it is intended to be, and not dish out a watered down version - just to keep the commitment.

Ever since, I tried to rewrite it, only to be greeted with a lot of pauses as I maneuvered  through my daily grind. I thought I'd do my easy peasy lemon squeezy short cut and scan around the house, to find a muse and feign a verse. But then I thought - why not do a this n that post? So here I am into the third paragraph, not really knowing where I am going with this - or that, for that matter!

I had a tough few days, a emotional stir. Dunno where to blame it really, or I probably do know. When I go through these upheavals, like most humans do (unless they are realized and live in the woods, away from human interactions and instigations) I seem to have developed a conscious coping mechanism, thanks the pseudo  gyaan I acquired through reading the many spiritual texts over the past six years. I watch the state of the mind like a third party and go - Ok, Bee is feeling low, so Bee should be prepared to feel high soon and vice versa. The human Mind - I hear, is in a vicious  cycle of being happy and sad, an infinite thought loop- somewhat like a yo yo, up and down. 

It renders a lot of power to know this much and take the energy off of the emotion and vest it into the observation.  But long before this half baked Yogini took form, I derived the same exact wisdom from a lyric by Gulzaar ji, from this film named Dil se.

It says - "Gham Dil ke bas chulbule hai, Paani ke ye bulbuley hai, Bhujte hai bante rehte hai" 

Which means "The sorrows of the heart are just naughty, Water bubbles they are, They form, and they pop"

They say that the lesson appears when the student is ready. And when we keep our eyes open and our hearts receptive, I think we get all the wisdom and support we need right within our reach. It could be an Oscar contending screen play, a glitch that pauses a blog post, a fluctuating emotion or a lyric from a bygone memory in the distant past.

After all - life they say, is too short to be little. And in there - 

How much to learn? 

How much to live? 

How little time???

(Pictured - My favorite yellow roses, living it up on my kitchen island, not caring how long they would last )