(A Remembrance)
The first time I met him I was barely an adult, newly wed in the land of the free and the brave. He was wheelchair bound, voluntarily retired from his high profile job and in the US to get treated for his rare back problem. He was tall when he stood up, lean like and athlete. His eyes piercing through his bifocals and the flush on his flawlessly translucent skin gave in more than his words. This silent, brooding man caught my attention. We exchanged the pleasantries, the customary ones that the younger generation exchanges with the older.
Then I met him again. His back maintained its status quo. I was moved to my soul when he and his wife showed up for my kid's first birthday in Hyderabad. The venue had steep windy steps and God knows how he made it up there with his catheter and crutches. His silence maintained his status quo as well. I walked to him, tried to make eye contact while he looked away and smiled. We exchanged a dialogue without eye contact. Unable to express my gratitude in the scope of the non verbal communication, I held his hand for a second, the warmth of his spirit radiated into his ageing hand. Then, perhaps a soul connection was made. What followed was a bond that nourished my essence.
We became pen friends. Or keypad friends. Due to the time difference, we used to wake up to each other's emails often. It is probably something to do with men and how they find it near impossible to process painful emotions, forget about admitting them, that his emails were always very abstract or mystic. It took a little time, but somehow, miraculously, the friendship between us transcended a generation, age and gender gap. He used to be a regular at my blog - praising, critiquing, suggesting ways to improve my expression. Parenting advice, life guidance, love for finer things in life, fears, hopes- you name it, we covered it. Once in a while, when I got fortunate, he used to write me stories with such subtle metaphors - like offering me a road map into his physical struggle or resulting emotional turmoil. All through this journey of ours, I was always spellbound to see his yearning to smile and help others as a superhuman soul quality. His empathy was soul stirring. His integrity as a father of three accomplished kids, a supporting sibling to his sisters after his parents' untimely passing, a true blue soulmate husband and most importantly a human being taught me invaluable lessons in life. Silence was the weapon in his struggle. A yearning to be useful to others was his religion. He taught me purpose without ever preaching about it. He is perhaps the most influential example I stumbled upon in my adult years.
His every bit of communication became a treasure hunt for me. It made me more nuanced with my understanding of the world and its inhabitants. The way he stood by his kids and spouse amid his own challenges is the stuff that true,unconditional love is made of. The way he gave a part of himself to me through our communication is what I count among my most valuable blessings. If I ever become a quarter of the human being he was, I'll consider my life as a success.
When I sit and meditate on life, He is among the first glimpses that come to me. He had this endearing quirk of communicating in metaphors that gave the 'let's crack this and look for the unsaid' side of me a huge kick. Our conversations covered it all - with such subtle humor, wisdom and warmth and a connection that was probably a sum total of my good fortune.
Every time we drive by the interstate 580, I skip a beat breathing in the enormous landscape punctuated with towering windmills. As I approach them, I gape at their presence and purpose. Uncle KK used the moniker KKTurbine for his email. My spirit senses a whip of his nearness and I smile. They say we are not here for ever and we should work on leaving a legacy that lives on. Sometimes, the legacy we leave back might not be visible or palpable. It might bring in a whole entire meaning to someone, somewhere. If I may dare say so, I am a little fleck of the legacy uncle KK left back and If I dare assume, I hope I'll do my part in leaving it for someone, somewhere and do my part in letting his touch on the earth to linger around a little longer.
XOXO Uncle KK - Thank you for unraveling the meaning of life, love and living. With gratitude, your soul kid.
Pictured - Interstate 580.
