They go for a stroll in the neighborhood park as the little girl skips her way through the jogging trail. "How was your day at school?" the mother asks. "Oh my God, you have to listen to this funny thing about the girl in my class!" the kid says animatedly. "Oh!" the mom exclaims. "Would that tread into gossip territory or did this kid really say something funny that would make me laugh?" The mother tries to reinstate a lesson that speaking about others unnecessarily is never welcome in their discussion. Ever.
"Oh you are going to laugh till your sides split" the kid replies through a broad grin. "Do you remember Sara? the tall girl that bikes past us every day? We got to fill a poster about ourselves and in a section where we were asked to describe ourselves. Sara wrote that she is tall and pretty and has the body of a super model and that is her best feature" The kid begins laughing loud - "Don't you think that is so funny mom? " I have the body of a super model" - She mocks pouting and sounding a little shrill. "What is so funny about that darling?" the mom challenges her. "Sara is a tall and beautiful girl, it is a good thing if she knows it and is proud of her looks"
"Geez, mom - are you serious? How can someone be so proud and full of themselves that they blow their own trumpet? There were these bunch of girls that walked to Sara during recess and sarcastically told her that her poster has the best description of herself. do you know what she did? She smiled and thanked them - How dumb is that? She doesn't even know they are mocking her and she is bragging about herself. Some of them even decided to have some fun tomorrow and burst her bubble"
" I hope you are not in those 'some of them', and I would be very disappointed in you if you were" the mother adds. "But mom, why should she act all high and mighty like we are all ugly ducklings and she is the only pretty one in the classroom?" "Darling" The mom cuts her. "So did she also write that the rest of you all are ugly ducklings?"
"No, But...but how can you be so braggy?" the kid questions! "Isn't that kind of arrogant and rude and so snobbish?" She offers her judgement.
It suddenly occurs to the mom that this isn't something unique to just a child of ten, and that humans somehow, sometimes manage to take offense to someone else's self love. The world often dislikes confident and outspoken people.Why do we feel so compelled to put a confident person in their place? Does it threaten our ego? Does it make us jealous or do we consider being quiet and letting them speak their mind as an acknowledgement to their opinion? She looks at the child and says "Darling, wouldn't it be a wonderful place if we let everyone look at themselves with love and regard and let them speak their mind? How should it bother or threaten us if Sara thinks she is pretty?" The smile on the child's face dulls a little "But mom, how can she, I mean...she shrugs her shoulders and throws her hands out.
"What did you write in your description" The mom asks her. "I didn't brag" the kid adds. "Why do you all think she cannot brag just because you didn't?"
"You always nit pick mom...you find fault with most things I say"
"But my darling, I am here to nit pick and find faults where I spot them as I have to mother you and teach you right from wrong" - "So you think you are always right mom? and you don't need to fix anything yourself?" - "For starters darling, let's not guess what others think, and no I am not faultless. I do acknowledge and improve upon my faults and I always learn something as I try to teach you"
"Okay, okay" the child gesticulates her to stop "So what is it that you learned today?"
"Sara is pretty and her saying it out herself should not make us any less pretty or mad or miffed"
"Okay, okay, then I am pretty too"
"Of course, you are pretty and we don't need to make Sara any less pretty or petty to prove that"
"Mom" She rolls her eyes and runs away while the mother looks at her child and smiles.
Pic Credit - Dublin Ca. By Chandra Elango.
