Friday, September 13, 2019

Traverse

Ambience - A new day has come, no sight of snooze 
Mood - hoot hoot

Little boy blue
Where do u live?
I’d been looking for your address
In my GPS
The lost vagabond that I am
With poor geography skills
Where do you dwell?
Beyond my database of everything else 
Except your address!
Little boy blue
They say you soar and spread
There’s no bounds to where all you can tread
Over the mountains under the sea
In air on land wherever you see...
But my eyesight hyperopic
Over myopic 
Misses you in the span
Oh where can I find you if I can?
Little boy blue
With flute and feathers 
Of peacock sticking out your crown 
You seem to grace others
It’s only fair you don’t let me down.
Little boy blue
Reveal yourself 
May be you revel in poems?
Relax in a song..
Let me string a poem, sing a song
Comeon over already
What’s taking you so long?
My little boy blue
Mine like many other you belong to
How inclusive how kind!
That you might be invisible but you stand right behind.
Behind? Or within perhaps 
Let me close my eyes n search the inside maps..
There you go, little boy blue 
You found me  and I found you!

Wednesday, September 11, 2019


Ambience - Quiet night, moderate and warm.
Mood - juvenile, light hearted reflection
Looping - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=licjBYeWKks
The prayers and pleas - movie Kedarnadh


The stretch 
Leading to the realization 
Beyond this virtuality
What do I carry
On this path forward?
What do I find? And what do I seek?
Abscesses cutting through tender thoughts?
Unconscious deeds not meant at all?
This maze called life 
That melts into nothing 
Termination awaits 
Perhaps at the next turn
Then what do I pack and what do I leave back?

Carefully curated collage may be
Of blessed moments, giving hearts
Gratitude for the love I got
Understanding for the unintended hurts.
Letting go of gathered pain
Balance sheets of loss and gain..
What purpose do they serve at all
Except as crutches to limp along
While I fail and fall!

This road to learning 
This path to wisdom 
What do I look for and what do I call?
Blink and miss, this journey beyond 
Let me pack love, share it among all
Walking along on this tricky slope
Let me pack joy and let me pack hope
Leaving back the weight of my plight
Of resentment, hatred and the urge to fight.
Let this way be paved in love
In a yearning to help and shine my little  light.

Ponder





Ambience - Same old same old Insomnia peekaboo
Mood - "I have to fill this screen. Let the catharsis begin"
Looping - Estas Tonne - The song of the golden dragon.

I didn't read a whole lot of fiction. I really didn't. contrary to the opinion of all my near and dear who kind of think that I spend most of my waking hours reading 'novels' - Now - that's a generic term for books where I lived, I guess. But truth be told, I read very little of anything, not just fiction. But since my conscious efforts to use my time productively kicked in earlier this year, I read quiet a few books. But the genre was very off beat. I read a lot of spiritual texts, philosophy and  a little bit of human psychology when ever I could. But Spiritual content takes the cake. So when I contemplated the next read, I found I had not one but two copies of this Khalid Hosseini's book 'A thousand splendid suns'
I read 'The kite runner' a few years ago and was totally charmed by Hosseini's deep understanding of love and life. I probably, with good intentions, bought the second book twice so I thought - "why not?" and chose it for my weekend read.

I have a very short attention span. Like a butterfly :-D Congratulate yourself is you are a childhood friend and don't write me off as a egotistic snob if you don't know me. I have a dry sense of humor. That's all. There are numerous occasions when I picked a fiction book and placed it down after a few pages. I am hasty that way. I cannot give a book, specially fiction,  too much of a chance. But there was a powerful force that sucked me right into the broken, hopeful world of Mariam and her kolba. I was very thrilled to see Hosseini choose a female protagonist. I loved both Amir and Hassan and their story so beautifully entangled together in 'The kite runner'. So I was so excited to see the author speak from a female perspective. I tried not to read any synopsis so was beside myself with delight when I saw a second  female lead getting introduced later into the narration. I didn't in the least predict how Mariam and Laila would be Amir and Hassan in their own right and was at a point frustrated when the narration completely shifts to Laila's story as I started missing Mariam and wanted to know what was happening to her. Not until these two narrations intersect did I understand the magic Hosseini was unfolding for me. I spent a few hours glued to the book making sure I saw the end of it and knew everything there was to know about the ladies that I somehow had fallen deeply in love with. 

I was on a roller coaster of emotions, living every bit of the hope, agony, rejection and heartbreak these both ladies live through the lucid flow of prose, highlighting bits and bobs, making my heartfelt notes in the margin and blowing through a box of kleenex in the process. The worried significant other kept checking on me wondering why my eyes were swollen and my nose stuffy. I know, I'd been on a midlife 'cry at the drop of a hat' phase for enough time now. The better half isn't still warming up to the idea of the transformation of his happy, smiley young wife into a hormonal middle aged woman. I know, time is savage. We all kind of morph into touchy, sentimental older people (That's also dry humor by the way, and ageing is a wonderful thing. I recommend it to all young people out there! I swear, just make sure you grow up and not old!) But that 'crying at the drop of a hat' part holds true. Age and hormonal fluctuations of balancing a toddler's tantrums with a teen's attitude does that to you I believe. On that note I have to acknowledge that the teen in question walked into my room several times, rolling her eyes and exclaiming "Why do you have to read it and cry buckets? you belong in the looney bin mother!" And then she came to pleas -
"Mom, why would anyone write such depressing stuff? Stop it already, I am not able to see u cry" That revelation was very reassuring. It was a good feeling to not feel like the nemesis of your first born's life for a change. She, afterall, cannot see me cry! :-D

But I got all high and preachy at that remark of "why would anyone write such depressing stuff?". I went on and on about how the generation is fed on a steady dose of Twilight and Breaking Dawn or what have you where the leading ladies go on a joy ride with Vampires and Werewolves. I know, "Fiction exists to feed our imaginations but it muffles our commonsense sometimes". I probably said the last part out and the teen double dared me that she'd read 'The thousand splendid suns' and appreciate it as much as I did minus the sob fest. I didn't let her take it up without reminding how 'The book thief' went over her head, and wished her luck with this one. No, a mother cannot let go of an opportunity where she can establish her stance.

"This is so subtle mother" came the first feedback. "If you had not highlighted and made notes this would have indeed gone over my head" - I was happy that she was willing to admit to the shortcoming and nudged her to complete it and enhance her comprehension skills.To my surprise she did complete it, and did it minus the sob fest. 

"I put my energy into getting all the subtleties" she later on passed her verdict. "I did't have the luxury of letting the undiluted emotion hit me"
Well, well - we made a start and transitioned from the popular fiction to the parallel. That's a huge victory. I'd blow through another kleenex without batting an eyelid if that challenges my first born to read some hard hitting stories.

I know - what started off as a tribute to the poignant writing prowess  of Hosseini ended up in a hodgepodge of lousy dry sense of humor. But all that trying too hard to be funny put aside, I was immensely moved by the piece of work. It made me go a little deeper into my own scope as a human, it probably made me more sensitive, more empathetic and led me through made up truths, over and over! This should definitely nudge me into reading more fiction for one thing.

Apart from that - Now, I want to write like Hosseini. Before it was Rowling :D


Do check out Estas Tonne's string at this magical piece. It'll is a potential loop. Fair warning :)








Monday, September 09, 2019

Reverse


Ambience -  Cool autumn night, a waning satellite by the window.
Mood -  Peekaboo with Insomnia 

Looping - Noorani siblings set to the tune of ARR’s magic and Irshad Kamal’s lyric 



“I cannot think of anything to write”
She says out loud!
Looking through the filtered light
Seeping in through the window.
“Just draw the curtains and ask a bird
Or a butterfly for ideas”
He laughs.
“Thank you for the suggestion”
She replies in mock anger
“But what if they suggest me to ask you?”
“They won’t. They know better. They are not like you”
“How mean!” 
“They are not like you, but they like you
They are yours for asking”
“And you?”
“I am just the reverse”
“I am asking for you!”
 She looks at him tenderly and smiles.
And the keyboard  starts clicking away.....

Sunday, September 08, 2019

Blessings




Ambience - Sunny and airy - Lord's day of rest
Mood - Lazy abandon, solitude and reflection
Looping - Yanni the Greek God of music.


When an introvert befriends you
You win a lottery of intense
Unconditional, dramatic affection?
Affliction?
You have an invisible umbrella of protection
Over your head
Stalking you with a silent, resilient armor.
When they put their guards down
They give you a medal of honor
They drive you potato chips with their clingy pesky presence
They cry your tears for you
Those embodiments of empathy.
They show up unannounced
With a grower's bunch and a hug
They barely speak, and when they do, they barely let you speak!
When an introvert befriends you
You have all your safety lockers penetrated;
They read you like a Hoarding
Conspicuously placed by the overpass.
You catch them in a crowd
Looking over you, jumping to aid
When they think you need it.
What's the need to speak up when you are studied to no fault?
When an introvert befriends you
You undergo a condition
Of overwhelm. Of absolute warmth.
They double up as the spare mother, as the pesky child
As a clown in a torture chamber :-D
Meaning well. To keep you laughing while they twist your arm.
They might be atheists, but they pray for you
They might be klutzy but they clean the house
They might hate cooking 
But they make you lacy, delicate idiyappams
Doused in coconut stew.
When an introvert befriends you
They give complex to their significant others
Constantly talking about you
Grinning ear to ear when they meet and part
And threatening their partners
That they'd name the house pet after you.
Or worse yet, their first born.
When an introvert befriends you
Your mission on earth is complete.
You experience what most human kind dreams about
Love - undiluted, unlimited, boundless and unconditional.
Fair warning - it's a calamity when they are angered
They don't open the door till your fists turn beet red
When they do, they bring out Vaseline 
And hot piping tea
And behave like nothing happened.
Weeks down the lane, as an after thought
They tell you, absentmindedly digressing over a intense conversation
That "that fight was a good thing."
As they feel a lot more closer to you after the show down.
Then you know you are doomed!
When an introvert befriends you
You'll be parched of verbal assurances, compliments.
"That's so lousy, you should do better"
They'd opine.
But by now you know how to read in between the line.

So steer clear of an introvert.
Don't try befriending them, it won't work that way!
Unless they confer the honor upon you.
By some strange stroke of luck,
But just if they do
My sincerest condolences.