Verse

As she looks out of the window

Through the things of this inside 

She spots not one

Not two

But many!

She smiles like she found out a secret

To eternal joy.

A smug security settles on her content being

She tries to count those many

Those many that color her life

Breath a new meaning, fulfillment

Even peace 

Upon her blessed existence 

She tries to count them

Those perspectives 

That broaden her world view

That widen her prospects

To find happiness 

Everywhere she treads.

This, That and Whatnot

As I sit here in my living room couch and feel this strange sense of leisure, I think of all the people around me that are such go-getters. The spouse for instance - this man wastes no time in thought to execution to a point where his spontaneity and urge to extract every intention into action puts the 'let's take life easy' other half through mild anxiety. While hydrating myself in this weird spring weather that is kind of putting up a competition with the weirdness this specimen that is typing out this baloney has, I sit and wonder where my 'take it easy' attitude has emerged out of. Is it an innate factory defect or is it something that I had acquired over the past few years? 

There were times, as hard as it is for me to believe at the juncture I am at right now, where yours truly was the poster child of 'do it and now' but somehow down the line of growing up and growing old and raising rugrats and playing Martha Stewart, the spontaneous 'little miss do it and now' became the boring big missus 'ah, we'll do it tomorrow' :-D and The boring big missus wants to do something about it and do in all earnestness.

The other day, while I was killing time on my one and only social media presence, in my  feed popped up the screenshot I shared above. Now Shri Amitabh Bachchan needs no introduction in the subcontinent - He is the superstar that had stayed relevant from his prime somewhere in the seventies through 2020. Bravo Mr.Timeless, take a bow! With the attention span the current world has, it is indeed a feat that you stay glued and put in the hearts and minds of the ever evolving and distracted Indian junta. The current generation might not know about the pedigree of Big B - His dad Shri Harivanshrai Bachchan was a prolific poet of his times. I started noticing Amitji after I read some of his father's works and a decade ago, I chanced upon Big B's blog - there were a few times he responded to my comments directly. On one instance, I asked him if he writes the blogs himself or has them ghost written!  - (Pat came the reply "I write them myself Laxmi, and it is such a pleasure.") So I'll put my trust issues aside for argument's sake and get to the point and believe my fatherly figure and his commitment to blog by himself without delegating it to a staff member . 

So this superstar of India had been blogging for fourteen years now! That's not the wow for me. The 'wow' is the over 4000 posts he had written to date. Apparently 'Mr.Indian Demi God of the Indian silver screen' never, ever took a break from his blog. Nope - not even a single day went without him writing! 

Now what's a humble homemaker with < 1% of the business of Amitji to do now, with this tidbit of information? Feel small? Feel stupid? Feel like an utter waste of oxygen? Feel inspired? Feel the pinch of taking things too easy? Feel all of the above and a truck load more?

Yes on all counts. Actually, a resonating, confident yes on all counts! So, the virtual cosmos whipped my lazy backside into check (for how long, I know not) and here I am, forcing myself to write and not give the pretext of a dinner prep or a full kitchen sink to skip doing what I should be doing. 

In the other news, I read that Irfan Khan, one of India's finest actors who passed recently and too soon said something on the lines of God patting you on the back and asking you to get down at the next stop while you are busy having a jolly good time on this ride called life! That's probably a supplementary inspiration to the Grand and wise senior Mr.Bachchan. And the universe, the sweet, felicitating force that it is, shall always give us cues to take ourselves a step ahead. Only when we keep our senses open and receptive. I am sure there isn't any dysfunction in that department.  And wherever else the repair work is to be done, I'll get to it in my overalls and the tool kit, tinkering away and looking for that reprimanding hint wherever the need pops up.

For now, It's a post alright! I better take a print out of the screen shot and stick it on my fridge door, cause that's the only spot I am not really doing my social distancing with, and it might come handy to deliver the relearning whenever the mojo derails.

:)

Ponder

May rolls in, so does another month of sheltering in place and so do the allergies in the air though moi is confined to the safe spaces inside the home. Lack of routine is a daunting pleasure. As I work from home, adjust to a 'pretend' routine and act as 'in routine' as I can, I also find it harder than ever to keep up my deadlines.  "I can do it tomorrow"a little reassuring, procrastinating, 'you are here to stay and your time is unlimited' delusional voice coaxes me to take it easy. And, every now and then, I end up taking it easy.

But sometimes I get the memo. 'I am not here to stay' the arch nemesis to the duality speaks up and I do. like really, get the memo. Over half a decade ago, when Marie Kondo wasn't as main stream as she is today, thanks to her Netflix gig, I made her one of my spiritual masters upon chancing on her book 'The life changing magic of tidying up. Nothing spoke to me like she did during my gestation stage, with that intense nesting phase I went through while I carried my second born. I always keep saying this in my head but anything that speaks to me, invariably ends up having a spiritual after taste to it and Konmari as she calls herself, isn't any different. Though I had been a non hoarder all my life, Kondo's advice about tidying up read like a spiritual scripture and I for once was so excited with the allegory of actual tiding up of my space. So during this time of unrest and leisure, I once again decided to look through each nook and cranny of my home *and my heart* wondering what there is that I want to keep and what there is that I want to let go.

I am glad to admit, that I didn't find much of a baggage at least without (now, the within is falling into place as well, and it better do that!) So here I am, rearranging my pantry, cleaning all my condiment and spice jars and re labeling them and going through all my clothes, holding them close and asking the universe "Does this spark joy?"  - Konmari says 'Pay attention to the tremor in your heart - you'll know when u love something and don't focus on what you want to discard, instead focus on what you want to keep!' So "Do I want to keep this?" is a more powerful and meaningful question to ask ourselves if we are confronted with the ever confusing task of 'let go'

And like every ponder, this has to lead to the culmination too. Cleaning is like meditation. It is like choosing what to keep in that heap of thoughts that cross our minds. Which one to give traction to? Which one to hang on to? Which one to fuel and which one to let fizz out? And in the end, the Zen of what stays, what matters and what counts is where the beauty lies. It all boils down to the simple act of choosing what to keep! :)
So giddy up, tidy up and live it up!

Reverse

Through the sheet of glass

Through the stack of blinds 

Through the invisible air

And visible greens

The sight travels

The heart follows

Resting now, on sprouting life

Newness peeking through the stagnation 

Bringing in prospect 

And like magic, out of nowhere 

Materializes the miracle of creation 

The same omniscience that settles inside 

Below the rubble of intellect

The bubble of ego.

Reassures the restless thought

To snooze a bit

And let in the glow!

For what can the eyes behold 

In the absence of light

And what can the being perceive 

In the presence of the identity

With this vessel.

Let go the sticking 

Let in the  bliss!