Tuesday, May 05, 2020

Ponder


May rolls in, so does another month of sheltering in place and so do the allergies in the air though moi is confined to the safe spaces inside the home. Lack of routine is a daunting pleasure. As I work from home, adjust to a 'pretend' routine and act as 'in routine' as I can, I also find it harder than ever to keep up my deadlines.  "I can do it tomorrow"a little reassuring, procrastinating, 'you are here to stay and your time is unlimited' delusional voice coaxes me to take it easy. And, every now and then, I end up taking it easy.

But sometimes I get the memo. 'I am not here to stay' the arch nemesis to the duality speaks up and I do. like really, get the memo. Over half a decade ago, when Marie Kondo wasn't as main stream as she is today, thanks to her Netflix gig, I made her one of my spiritual masters upon chancing on her book 'The life changing magic of tidying up. Nothing spoke to me like she did during my gestation stage, with that intense nesting phase I went through while I carried my second born. I always keep saying this in my head but anything that speaks to me, invariably ends up having a spiritual after taste to it and Konmari as she calls herself, isn't any different. Though I had been a non hoarder all my life, Kondo's advice about tidying up read like a spiritual scripture and I for once was so excited with the allegory of actual tiding up of my space. So during this time of unrest and leisure, I once again decided to look through each nook and cranny of my home *and my heart* wondering what there is that I want to keep and what there is that I want to let go.

I am glad to admit, that I didn't find much of a baggage at least without (now, the within is falling into place as well, and it better do that!) So here I am, rearranging my pantry, cleaning all my condiment and spice jars and re labeling them and going through all my clothes, holding them close and asking the universe "Does this spark joy?"  - Konmari says 'Pay attention to the tremor in your heart - you'll know when u love something and don't focus on what you want to discard, instead focus on what you want to keep!' So "Do I want to keep this?" is a more powerful and meaningful question to ask ourselves if we are confronted with the ever confusing task of 'let go'

And like every ponder, this has to lead to the culmination too. Cleaning is like meditation. It is like choosing what to keep in that heap of thoughts that cross our minds. Which one to give traction to? Which one to hang on to? Which one to fuel and which one to let fizz out? And in the end, the Zen of what stays, what matters and what counts is where the beauty lies. It all boils down to the simple act of choosing what to keep! :)
So giddy up, tidy up and live it up!

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