Spring has sprung - and Finally! I don't feel anything else as intensely as I feel spring. (Or I am compelled to feel) There's a tingling warmth in the air that urges one to go for that old tee and lounging pants. The eyes respond endlessly, making their physical presence felt with an itch that almost feels like a tickle. There's a sense of well being and then there's a sense of being under the weather. There's options in OTC allergy meds and then there are side effects that almost make you feel like it is a 'lose lose' situation because you are either plonked by the allergies or by the antihistamines.
Thug Life.
And somehow the mojo dons the lethargy too.
If you know me well, you know how I am a wannabe monk. If you skim through my writings and deduce any sense off of them, you might also know that I am heavily inspired by my spiritual findings and quest lately. So as I type my head off catching up with V, I had this sudden whack to write about something that is very unusual of me. Pray what I find on my YouTube suggestions? A gossip columnist and Rahul Khanna. My senses do a pop and I get into a detour I am happy to get into and watch this poetry of a Man in conversation. Why not make him my muse for the day I thought?
Life is a balance. And mine had been one since I remember. I was a very 'aware' child with controlled emotions. I didn't react to things much. I observed them and my experience of those observations were my reward. When my teen years hit, I had few (but lasting) crushes. Rahul Khanna wasn't your quintessential teen crush. He wasn't even main stream in the 90s. So my eclectic tag comes handy here I guess and as little of print and media I was exposed to and as little as I spotted of Khanna, He had my head spinning and eyes shining. But like the rest of the 'observant' me, my crushes were ethereal and subtle if I can use that word. I never looked at him and thought of myself as 'Mrs. Khanna" even in that hormonal teen phase. It was a beautiful, almost empowering feeling I got when I saw the peace in his eyes and the refinement in his body language. Then the realization dawned upon me that all my relationships were more or less balanced. I look at the people I love from a distance, drawing a lovely inspiration and a smug flutter in my heart and using it to be happy by myself - In theory, Rahul Khanna gives me the same joy as my father or daughter gives me. I'll leave it at that ;)
As I watched the QA session, I was probably watching with a smile plastered to my face, much like a parent would watch an evolved child. I was kind of amused that this has 30k views. I mean a nation of 1.3 Billion, that's not even a drop in the ocean. What's the world upto seriously? Watching item numbers in billions and counting?? We do need some taste injected into us ;)
So He cooks. He sketches? He smiles incessantly. He was good at writing essays! (Dayum) He talks about Tom Ford and a local Designer. He mentions his friend's book. He says "call me" with a smirk when someone says they find him hot! He says "be adaptable" - And people, Why would you ask him why Houndstooth is named that way? Are you delusional about him being Google? "Suit yourself" is all I would say and do a little swoon over how he makes sense of the etymology. Intelligence and all that!
Of course, age is a number! It doesn't need to be quoted and abused everywhere and everyhow! Specially when you are dealing with timeless specimens such as Mr. Khanna. And those eyes - Like infinity pools. Heck, let's say the Pacific - calm and peaceful :)
That gummybear art? Mr. Khanna are you Midas??
And his signature style is Simple! Did you hear? He doesn’t like to complicate things and is a minimalist! what? wait.... Bingo, Hallelujah, Holy Guacamole, ravioli, puran poli :) Did u have a long lost sibling in Khumb mela Mr. Khanna? Pls check with your elders. I might know where she lives ;)
Oh I forgot to mention - when twitter wasn't really a thing, I created an account to just follow this dude. I'll swear on the Gita, Koran and Bible that he used to send personal messages to tweets. He did send me 3-4 messages that I have screen captures of. I am not asking you to believe me :D But just goes to say how he strives to fill that space between two humans, with that magic called connection.
So we'll come back to the 30k views. May your tribe increase Mr Poetry posing as a man. Or wait a minute - may my tribe increase! We need more of Bees to appreciate God's perfection.
Nuff Said. Now let me replay the video and swim in the Pacific.
When I vowed to be silent on my blogging space this year, I had this idea of writing what I called as LOGs - The idea isn't original. I met this person I really looked up to and he said he was in the process of writing thank you letters to all the people in his life that had touched him in big and small ways. This exchange of information happened just around the dawn of 2020 and viola, I had to kind of get inspired and borrow that idea. Now these weren't meant to be blogged about but to be delivered to the person in receipt of that gratitude and I thought I'd have the writing fix of the year and a very focused and purposeful one at that.
But things changed and here I am blogging away and somewhere down the cracks fell my idea of writing letters of gratitude. But as much as the idea escaped me, the essence of gratitude lingered around. Consciously or otherwise, the seed of that idea that germinated in my heart led to what I call as a ripple effect - of intense gratitude and immense joy as I combed through my everyday life to look for things and people to be thankful about. The littlest of things started generating that love and joy in me and I for once understood why all the wise and the lofty folks harp on the importance of being grateful. A grateful heart is a happy one, no? I want to claim myself to be an out and out happy person, a pathological optimist and this simple thought that someone else had, somehow changed the aura of my year in ways I cannot extract into words.
There's a lot of things that I plan to do and don't do. But there are things that are so powerful that just the thought transforms us into something bigger, something better and something meaningful.
To all the souls that made me who I am today, Mucho Gracias!
One day, I woke up to an imagination. I know, we usually wake up to reality, but this time around, may be the universe was in a mood to love me a little more than a normal day. I would say it was sprinkling love on me because the lane I walked in was filled with all things love joy and peace are made of - I was walking on a road that had creation everywhere - God made and man made that is made in the love of His skill, like the proverbial flattery, in humble imitation. I walked past in stillness, there were no personal commentaries going on in my head, like they are going on right now, after I woke up from that visual. I was just in there - sinking in the detail of everything around me, without naming them or naming my own reaction to them. The road was opening its arms to me. I saw birds flying and tweeting love messages in the air, I heard the gurgle of the river, saw the glide of the clouds, I felt the moisture of morning dew on my skin, I devoured the pinkness of the roses strewn on the path. The fragrance of the place was something else. It was soul feeding, it was transformation in motion. The moment was eternal, the joy was without an abyss. There was no fear of the unknown, no plans for the end of the road, no sorting of the thoughts, heck, there were no thoughts.
As I walked by, I noticed big things, small things. A young woman's smile, a young man's heart beating in response. I walked through the unfolding of an epic, like it was an ordinary occurrence. May be it was an ordinary occurrence but it felt like an Epic. I saw people revel in a celebration, cry in a mourning. It made no difference to me. I just saw it as it was. But the peace inside stayed untouched, unscratched. There was a reassurance that felt like a mother's embrace. A hand wrapped on the shoulder that was best described as a father's assurance. An invisible presence walked next to me - much like a friend in need. The space between me and everything and everyone was filled with magic, with connection, with eternal love.
One day I woke up to an imagination, an imagination called life, I had this Emcee by my side, screaming her voice hoarse, guiding me through the unfolding. She had a great perspective she was wise by and large. She had emotions busting at her seams, she was a little mad and a little delusional, lost in that translation of the life around her, doing the rounds in her mind. Somewhere in that delusion, she lost her way on the road. She roamed around aimlessly knocking random doors to see if that was where she belonged, she cried her heart out, drilled huge voids into her being, all for the heck of it. I couldn't watch her anymore, I had to intervene. I made her sit back and relax, I coaxed her to take a deep breath, I convinced her to close her eyes and look behind the darkness. I inspired her to shut it up. She didn't give in readily. I didn't give in either. May be we both won at the end. She is enjoying the visual without the mental exertion and I am watching her like a proud parent. And then I gave her a tight hug and said, we don't know why life leads us to where it leads us, we don't know what roles we have to play in each other's lives. Trust the process, go with the flow. She listened. And there was peace.
And then one day, I just woke up. There was nothing. And it felt like home!
