A good ten months ago, I got a memo to really examine what life was all about. If you are a spiritual seeker, it is believed that the universe puts you through the right experiences to evolve and rise above the hokey pokey of human existence. I had those things come and knock on my door and suddenly, I was face to face with the rhetorical questions - Who am I? What is love? What is truth? I started looking far and wide for answers. And in that quest, I probably read the most I read since I was literate. Amazon recorded a meteoric rise in its stocks, and you know why! I was lost in anything and everything related to spirituality -in fact, I, for the very first time in a long enough existence, sat myself to meditate. It was kind of unfortunate that I had spiritual seekers and mediators all around me, but not until it was my time, did I even consider having a closer look at this practice.
I didn't discriminate - I read Osho, Sadhguru, Toltec wisdom, Celtic wisdom, numerous philosophers, several interpretations of the Gita, Allan watts, Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Weiss, Gary Zakov,Michael Singer, Thich Nhat Hanh and online resources, watched every Ted talk that skimmed the surface of spirituality and reflected upon every bit of wisdom available to humans to achieve the peace that we are supposed to have treasured within us, as an innate quality. I didn't as yet, finish the Holy Godmother of them all - The autobiography of a Yogi - but you get the drift.
The kith and kin had mixed reactions. Friends found me lost and changed. Close family had a laugh about it "A phase" they nodded in slow motion as I went about my findings. Some ran the opposite direction every time I opened my mouth suggesting them to try some of the tricks of the trade to achieve peace and joy.
I started noticing that I was going through a deep cleanse. It was like the surface tension of the mind stayed put like an impenetrable membrane, (not always, but for a good 15 minutes every time I sit and do my sincere attempt to meditate, and that is pretty much an achievement for starters) keeping all turbulence at bay. I am taking little baby steps, but I seem to have enormously aged in the process, I became more tolerant, more loving and accepting of life as it arrives, no questions asked! I falter, but I stay aware and gently pull myself up to awareness, and I hope I evolved, ever so slightly, but evolved to love better and live better.
So if I had to nutshell every thing I read, it is this. Now. Stay in the now. Shun the past, don't dwell in the future. We have an eternal moment - this moment. This moment in which what you are doing is happening. How simple is that? Is there any mincing words in there? Stay in the moment - curb the thought that dwells in the past or into the future. Don't resist what is - give in, surrender. Go with the flow, cause Karma is nothing but resisting what IS!
So simple - but then, as I stayed aware and examined my thoughts, I realized, this is much much bigger than just what it seems like - I felt like those clowns attempting a comedy trying to imitate the trapeze artists in circus. Those wise souls make it look like a cake walk and of course, novices like me would feel it is all figured - until one knows it isn't figured. Curbing the thought for even a few minutes is something that requires seriousness, practice and a strong intent - that's where meditation or mindfulness kicks in. I can go on and on but I know it would probably scare the very few ardent supporters I have in here - so for now, I'll keep mum. And that brings me to the next practice. Silence. It is liberating to stay still, not talk, not even sub vocalize. Try it if you didn't and you'll probably gather energy to rip apart the house and rebuild it - as the mind they say, is the untamed monkey that keeps jumping from one branch of thought to the other, one worry to the other, one narration of being a victim to one narration of being a sob story, one judgement to one opinion as if we are moral paragons.
And then, I realize, that creating a comic strip is almost as hard as meditation and keeping the mindfulness practice. I spent a better part of today sketching and re-sketching Bessie, ever so often referring to Watterson's works. Boy am I charmed? My admiration is scaling new heights and so is my determination to do my mediocre best an keep up the commitment. Though I do not have sketches to upload today,as they are one too many and none are in their final draft glory, I am happy to record that I did good learning and devouring the multilayered experience of enjoying my favorite Calvin and Hobbes.
I know it is all a hodgepodge, but the bigger picture is that I am doing it! :) And as far as the answers to the rhetorical questions go, according to a very wise soul - We know who we are when we know who we are not. We know what truth is when we know what truth is not and we know what love is when we know what love is not!
And between knowing myself, and understanding love and truth, even in a very feeble way, I stand here, finally attempting to do the things that matter, with truth in my attempts and love in my heart!
So, C is for curbing the endless chatter of mind and specially the mouth and curing every malady there is - and I mean every bit of it to the last of it.
I'll come back with the Devotion to Do it - and some drawings in tow for day number 4 :-D
Ciao.
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