This is what happens.....

Time is savage! Full stop. Who ever has come up with it had the humanity at doom. The other day, I was engrossed in the Documentary on Kalachakra initiation done by His Holiness The Dalai lama and wondered why man had to come up the the concept of time in the first place, it was only shackling us to our egos and false identities. But this digression, I didn't plan though my life is by and large unplanned. May be it seeps into my art, this spontaneity, if I could used that as a euphemism for digression. - Art's got to imitate life after all. Any way, it is the fourth day of the fifth month and Moi stands here gasping - Cinco De Mayo already? and it only feels like last night that I had slipped into my prayer room at the strike of twelve on new year's eve and vowed to banish this savage time and ego body out of sight - as both are the hindrances in the path of connecting to our source. It is a few days flipped past May and I didn't trot this way once the April challenge was done with. Guess what? I was missing my cathartic writing and thought I'd do it today. I looked for a pic prop to write about a woman that defies stereotypes and found this young Meryl Streep, in a very unusual pose, to be lost in deep cogitation. Now, unusual is what we want to portray, in case you are wondering where I am going with the prop. But truth be told, my little verse around it got dissipated into this pointless ponder about time. I'll leave esteemed Ms.Streep here anyway. She is uber easy on the eye - and an icon all the same. Perhaps the most successful it gets in her chosen field. As I child, when I first spotted her in a regional Sunday edition sometime in the eighties, I was so smitten by her high cheekbones and broad forehead. Incidentally, we were reading something related to the Helen of troy in some primary school texts and I instantly thought she'd be the best bet to play that part. 

"A face that launched a thousand ships"  The description went but truth be told, my expertise to interpretation wasn't as sharp back in the day, though I could cite under age as a reason.I used to ponder and wonder as to how that expression made sense. How would a face launch ships in the first place? My literal sense of the childhood lens wasn't very effective after all. It took me several years to figure out that her abduction by Paris was said to be the reason for a fleet of a thousand ships to be launched into battle, initiating the Trojan Wars. I don't know why I got to the Helen of Troy but I did. May be I should rechristen this entry as 'Arbitrary' or even 'Arbitration' though the latter doesn't make sense just like this banter. 

Or may be it does. Nothing is said to be a coincidence. When I ponder in solitary bliss, though the world wide web is my witness, there is a certain aplomb that plagues your creativity. Or may be it adorns it! Either way, Ms Streep stays. I'll call it a day and come back again, may be with yet another alluring photograph of hers to pose as my prototype under the "defying stereotype" specimen. 

For now, It is Meryl and Me (please disregard my poor grammar just like you'd disregard my poor writing skills, if you are here, to disregard in the first place!)

Give without counting the cost, fight without healing the wound and blog without weaving a plot - said no one I knew, But let's see if we can get away with attributing it to The Helen of Troy.

On a different but slightly related note, I'd like to add the new favorite quote of mine.

“Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous - to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd.”

― Thomas Mann, Death in Venice and Other Tales

Solitude - Let's see if it heals. I won't put my bets on it, but let's see :)

Pic courtesy - www.Iconichistroticalphotos.com

Day 26 - Z - for Zilch

Dear April -  Thank you for the experience, for everything I learned, discovered and expressed with the A-Z challenge as my motivator.

And to the zilch, I add some Tolle wisdom.

Day 25 - Y for Yumm yumm!

Penultimate day of April and A-Z challenge. I get this feeling of accomplishment when I look back at the bygone month. It had been a really wonderful few weeks wherein I loved myself and did the things that feed my soul. They say the things we love as kids would stay with us for ever. I still remember the day of my second grade like it was yesterday, When I pulled out a pencil and tried to sketch  the picture of a medieval looking young lady. The picture adorned one of my notebooks. I still remember the thoughts that occurred to me at that time and the sense of fulfillment I felt when I was able to make a fairly accurate copy of the said lady, for my age and expertise that is. There was no looking back ever-since. It isn't until my third grade that I was bit by the writing bug,I am in thrall every since. My love for writing peaked in my seventh grade (and maintained its status quo), thanks to a teacher that mentored me. But after the love for doodles and words emerged my love to cook.

It pays to be the progeny of the artistically inclined. My mother, who had a blockbuster run as a sewing and craft teacher brings her sense of harmony and aesthetic to every thing she touches, including the way she chops vegetables and serves food on the dinner plate. So it was given that some of it seeped into me, just by the virtue of being around her and observing her intently. My mom is the most professional cook ever, and I don't mean it like how every child means about their mom. She is a cut above, no matter whom she is pitched against, and no there isn't any nepotism in that statement. When I first landed my own homemaking gig, I was barely an adult and when I tumbled down the hole and found myself in my own kitchen, it was no less than a wonderland. I was soon to discover my serious passion, cooking. And alongside, I discovered the mighty avocado.

When I first tasted the fruit, I was flabbergasted by the rich, creamy burst of flavor and had a hard time believing that it occurred on a tree. From then on, it became an integral part of my pantry. I somehow try to sneak it into most meals. Whether I smear it on the panini sandwich or toss it along with grilled veggies in that house salad I make. Yesterday, I had this sudden impulse to recreate my favorite appetizer from Cheesecake factory - the Avocado egg rolls. The spontaneity kicked in and I rolled in freshly made dough into the wrapping and stuffed it with garden fresh cherry tomatoes, red onion bits, chunky avocado rounded up with salt pepper and a dash of lemon. The yummy stuffing was securely swaddled in the sheets and fried to enjoy. Even the ever finicky second born finished a roll, without uttering a word! When they eat without talking, I know, they are speechless :-D "This is better than the original" The first born hesitantly said. And no that doesn't qualify as nepotism from my worst, most hard to impress critic. I hope :)

So here's to the wonderful journey so far, the words and drawings from my desk and then the dishes from my kitchen. My life is blessed with these three companions and all the company I share them with.          

Pictured - My very own Avocado egg rolls, served with Thai sweet sour chili dip.

Day 24 - X for eXhaustion....

(....And Xyst)

To the many fluctuations

Of the spirit

From wanting to run, write cook sketch 

And what have you

In an infinite loop

To curling up in bed refusing to budge

Yearning to merge in the myriad

Escaping the confines of this hamster wheel.

Why falter at the end of the xyst?

Play hard and push the limit

We are almost there at the finish line!

The only failure 

They say - is giving up!

So rise.

Be the flour if not the Sun

Be the bread if not the life!

Day 23 - W for What you are seeking .......

Many things in the world are ironical...and the irony sometimes doesn't elude even the Nirvana attained. Incidentally, Buddha's statues are the most sold idols in the planet..so much of irony for someone who was against idol worship. And I for once am not complaining though Idol worship isn't something I advocate or practice.

I always had an affinity to the Buddha - probably because I recollect my history lessons to great detail. I remember being shaken by the story of Asoka the great and how he embraced Buddhism upon witnessing the gore post Kalinga war. When I read about Siddartha the Gautama's own story I was even intrigued. A prince that had it all going for him, and one random incident he witnesses brings him instantly back to the source, when he realizes that everything we desire, own, accumulate and take pride in having is all but a cosmic illusion as the body drops dead one day, and all these things dissolve into nothing. Nirvana didn't come easy to the prince. He renounced the last of his comforts as a royal, including his wife and son, and walked bare feet, doing intense penance to attain the ultimate us believers believe in - Salvation!

No wonder the Buddha became my hero - My brand ambassador for peace and bliss, my icon for this spiritual journey I embarked upon lately and against my own strong resistance to buying images of Gods and Goddesses that practicing Hindus oh so readily warm up to, I had this urge to sit Him as my companion on this desk where I ponder and sketch and paint. From a long time, I had a unexplainable attraction towards succulents, perhaps another one of those biology lessons did the trick, where in I read about the self sufficiency and hardiness of this plant group. So I created this miniature succulent garden on my writing desk and thought to myself - "All I need is a desktop fountain and a form of the Buddha amid this yearning to bring a fleck of nature to my surface and I have created my perfection" and my quest to spot the perfect Buddha statue commenced.

After the significant other and the rugrats left to pursue their life paths, I pursued mine, albeit on a seemingly silly quest to find the Man of my dreams, sitting still in meditation, offering a blessing with his open palm while doing what he is good at doing. I went to every possible store that could carry a Buddha statue and I wasn't pleased with any of the choices. It was in a way like looking for the perfect man to start a life with ;) And perfection, I realized so long back, is an illusion. Notwithstanding the realization, the hard to please component in my system didn't compromise.

 "His head looks disproportional" I thought looking at one statue.

 "His smile isn't carved like it is supposed to be. His smile should indicate bliss. This doesn't" 

"This one looks off somewhere, he looks tired, and this weighs a ton too" 

The dismissals were brutal and constant but I told to myself that I'll get him on my terms or I won't get him at all. After that affirmation occurred to me, the pursuit kind of skipped my short attention span and I went around doing other things and stopped looking. Until He came seeking me in the most unusual of places, in a form that couldn't have been more perfect.

When I sat myself comfortable on the floors of Barnes and Noble booksellers, reading away like the world ceased to exist, I had a sudden though to walk around to the back of the store, that I usually don't venture into. When I followed the thought and went to the back, I spotted a clearance bin with bunny toys and such - the remnants from the Easter merchandise marked down to make way for some newness. 
The pastel stuff toys looked at me alluringly and I walked closer - inside that rubble, was a spikey little crown peeking out. I thought it could be a garden gnome and pulled it up. Lo and behold, It was the statue of the Buddha, looking every bit in bliss like He is supposed to look, sporting that enigmatic smile, delicately closed eyes, and what looked like a sash of succulents wrapping from his right shoulder, cascading onto his chest. I had seen the Buddha in a variety of interpretations, but never in the world did I see a Buddha sporting succulents on his chest and shoulders. And he was marked down to a song, waiting there for me to come and discover him and take him home. 

As mushy, sentimental and overtly syrupy this sounds, what are the chances of a coincidence that one spots a Buddha with succulent accents for one's table top succulent garden in a book store of all places and in a Easter clearance bin? Zilch I would guess - unless I take it to the next tier of my signature gooey and emotional - I do not believe in coincidences and I cannot be grateful enough for the whole universe that conspired to get the perfect realized Buddha to my humble company.

Here's a toast to the cosmic puzzle, that drops in the perfect fits to every sincere wish you release into the ether.

"what you are seeking is seeking you" Have no doubts.

Long live faith, belief and ethos of the Spiritual seekers. 

And by the way, Perfection isn't an illusion.

Day 21 - U for Unconditional

He shrinks himself

To seep through the slimmest of outlets

Flooding a whole system 

Of heavenly orbs.

I wonder how He does it!

Unconditional - not for once checking

If He is showering his grace

On his lovers that bask in his warmth

Or the grass by the untaken trail

in the deep wilderness

That seems oblivious to his presence.

He maneuvers through the tightest of cracks

Not for once with an expectation

To be let in with open arms.

Not once sulking if He is being unwelcome.

He knows no bounds, conditions, agendas

Just giving, no counting! Such lofty objective of existence

I wonder how He carries it

Without looking at it as a commerce

Ever pausing to question

"What I get for dissipating your darkness?"

May be He demonstrates love in divine symbolism

By leading us into radiance

Banishing the sombre night

With his encompassing light!

pictured - Sunrise over Tomales trail, Ca

Day 20 - T for Tailed and tagged balderdash

Bella Petite

The book mark with a trait

Has a non wagg-able tail

And a non tear-able tag.

Her dogeared ears,

Stand checkered and proud

She is an anti dogear vaccine

To her best buddy, the book.

The other buddy Bee

That's the buddy of the book

Befriends Bella Petite

In a 'friend's friend is a friend' outlook.

Bee and Bella explore the book

Hanging together in a playdate

Sipping mint tea, sprinkling smiles

By Bee's writing nook.

What camaraderie they share

Bella Bee and Book

A trio like the three musketeers

United to prepare,

For life twists and turns

Rewards the mind that learns.

Bella Bee and the book

Live happily ever after

Cuddling by the reading light

Reading into the next chapter.

Day 19 - S for Smarts is seldom comprehensible.

Be smart anyway ;)

Day 18 - R for Rolypoly's correspondence

(addressed to yours truly)


Dear one,

I hope this finds you in good cheer and pink health. I am not really concerned about your health much, except for the fact that your unladylike sneezes in the spring weather, especially when you loom over me, so close to comfort, amplify in my eardrums and cause much agony.(Now, You might not see my ears in and please don't look for them next time you encounter me) It is getting warm out there, and I hope to see more of you, or may be I don't. I am undecided. It is endearing and annoying at the same time that you don't seem to get over my speck of an existence when there are probably bigger and better things human species pursue with their time and energies. I am sorry if it so implied to you that you should find better things to do with you time than to carefully examine me every time you find a free moment and me on the side walk, coexisting, while you do your so called brisk walk! Oops again - I mean, how am I qualified to talk about brisk walk? while all I seem to do is amble around, aimless and lacking momentum. Now I am no steed like you probably know. But once I roll into that little pebble like form and you gently tick me back and forth, I probably move like a steed alright. Reckon? Or it is a far fetched misconception?

It gets funny when you try to focus on me, looking through the lens of your smart phone. You folks parade around with it like it is riveted to your hands - no judgement here - but I find it ever so slightly ego inflating when I see the intelligence that is built into me that doesn't run on an iOS or needs any downloading of apps or connections to the internet. I appreciate your looking intently at the walk way to dodge my brethren sharing the path and the lovely weather with you though, as we don't have a shield against being crushed. I know you are enamored by me and I have to confess that I feel a slight brush of jealousy when you look away when that more radiant ladybug lumbers by. She is pretty alright - shocking red, polka dots and all but I dare her to curl into a ball when disaster strikes. Geez - I address a human and I somehow start emoting like one. Pray when did feelings like jealousy creep into me? Let's stay clear of those useless shenanigans. They don't serve me much - all I need is the cue to self defense and voila, I am a complex intelligence manifesting into a beady little thing that amuses the likes of you to no end. Isn't that a worthwhile, accomplished existence? I know you'd whole heartedly agree. And do you notice? Once you leave me alone, I spread right back into action and go my way, without calling foul and trying to play out a doom and gloom sob story out of how you make my defense mechanism into a pastime. I feel this whole narrative we weave into everything that happens to us is the biggest disservice by us, onto ourselves. May be I conveyed it to you already without getting so elaborate, standing on my soapbox. So, gather what you may out of your endless fascination for me. I know you are the one that needs to write me some fan mail - but guess what? I am in a mood to give today. In a mood to please. I know you like letters and you like me. So what can be more pleasing to you than a letter from me? May be a letter from me with some sprinkles of wisdom and a lesson or two in living life? 
That, your species is in dire need of my dearie. Let them know as my message. I might be a meager critter, but when we are open to learning, we probably open portals into the most unlikely of sources. We coexist after all - and thank you for the attentive audience to my discourse. Tomorrow when you walk by, please tuck away that smart phone in your pocket and snort some nasal spray. You'll be more present and perhaps, you can pick a cue or two to live that life of yours better.

Much love dearie and see you soon.

Your partner on this path,
Mr.Rolypoly

Day 17 - Q for Quest

             

That sweet thing

He becomes the dance

To her rhythm.

The lyrics to her tunes.

She Measures her moves, cautious and careful

He sprinkles them in the air

Like confetti,

Spirited and care free.

His raw edges rub on to her polished surface

Shooting sparks like fireworks.

Poise personified,

Her grace is the stuff of story books

His ruggedness, like an art in mixed media

Dabbles on her restraint,

Bewitches her senses

Pulls her into his heart

Like the yang to the yin.

Them, probably poster children

For meant to be destiny!

So unlike but so aligned.

This cannot be an earthly transpiring

These souls blending in 

Like Sugar and spice, cheese and wine!

Sweetening, intoxicating

Fusing together

Merging into oneness

Seeking completion and finding it

In the pure embrace

Defining partnership

And inspiring tales

Narrated to warm hearts

And bloom smiles.