Envy.

Envy, the polished twin of jealousy is green, mean and everything in between. Well, that is a bad rhyming. LOL. So back to envy - have you ever felt it? Yeah! - right? How do you handle it? How do you shoo shoo it away from your mind and your heart? How do you deal with the ways it makes your heart twist and twine? When exactly do you feel it? Is it a healthy emotion? Is it too vile? Well... most of us, nay - all of us have felt it some time or the other. I have decided to look into my own shade of green and do some introspection as to when and how it comes to me and colors my inside this shade that is otherwise tied up with prosperity and in the recent past with a revolution to keep our whole planet this healthy happy shade:-) What an irony! Green with envy or green with prosperity or green with a reduced carbon footprint?
The emotion seems to be as versatile as the multi tasker color it is associated with. The first time I felt this was when - I wish I remembered. So I'll look into the recent past and see when I'd felt it. Probably a few months ago I stumbled upon a very well articulated piece of writing and I was so green that I could not think or write like the writer that I spoilt two days of sleep in a row, got a unexplainable migraine and went on a blogging spree as if to prove it to myself that I am not envious but am actually a better writer than the person envied in question. I look back and see that any creative person who is better than me in my view is an object of envy for me. Sometimes I read Jhumpa Lahiri and go....wow! But somewhere deep inside I envy her to be so good with her expression. It might sound funny and downright absurd that I envy J K Rowling. Yeah...her of all the people. Am I even qualified to do that? - My humbler side kicks in and questions. I get this daily musings into my inbox and some of those make me turn a shade of green since I would not have thought of that thing to write about. Recently I saw a mom with three kids and felt the ever so slight tint of green in my feelings. I wanted to have a big family all my life. For that reason I envy Angelina Jolie too. Six kids and such a cute group. I envy her for her conviction and her love for her babies form Max to the newest additions (sorry not sure what they are called!)
But just like all positive emotions, good ole envy has a nice side too. Form envy emerges a feeling to outdo the object of envy, a genuine voice inside that actually admits to oneself the greatness of the subject of envy involved, and an urge to do something to match up to the object of envy could actually be productive as well.
Our envy is a reflection of what we want. What matters most to us. At a deeper level our envy is what we want our destiny to be. Well, I can envy Rowling all I want but can never create all she'd created. But it does make me motivated enough to create what I can. I strive to do my personal best and measure up to my object of envy. So if imitation is the best form of flattery, envy should be the best form of admiration.
So grab a can of green paint and color away the world with it. Be it envy, prosperity, environmental consciousness . Make sure that the world is filled with more and more green - the color of admiration!