Friday, September 19, 2014

Ponder

It had been well over a couple of weeks since I blogged last. I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. My head was filled with random ponders, threatening to burst. I have a confession to make. Life here is very complex - or complicated! Nothing like it is back home. You have help for practically everything - someone drives you around, someone cooks your meals, some one cleans after you and some one else presses your clothes - Ironically, you have no time. Ironically, it complicates your life. For me, personally, this 'help at all pauses you take' makes me busy in a very silly and absurd way. I lose track of my time. I lose the momentum - the feeling of 'being in control' and as a result get busy doing everything else except what I am supposed to be doing - and that includes blogging. I am yet to put a finger on the reasons behind my being 'busy' - but I swear my day zooms past like a commercial break punctuating a television program. I probably sleep walk - should consciously check on that ;-)

I'll get back. To the ponder that is. I connected with an acquaintance of mine yesterday - A woman of two beautiful children. A woman who is steadily becoming a good friend. A petit frail lady who passes off as few years younger than her age. She sports perfectly straight hair that falls bountifully around her shoulders and carries a tote bag on her slender arms. She talks in mouthfuls, smiling as she speaks, raising her thick set of brows, nodding in amusement at the most mundane of details I relate to her as she comes to pick up her kids from the art class. One looks at her life and sees harmony, perfection and perfect order. One wouldn't in the least suspect anything wrong with her life. She is a cancer survivor! After our family's own tryst with the 'elephant in the room', I saw her opening up more, sharing all her fears, battles, triumphs and wisdom with me while we cope with my Mother in Law's journey to recovery. I listen to her - imagining myself at her feet, taking notes about life and the battles it throws us into - the crap that happens, sometimes in moderation, sometimes in heaps and heaps - but is it not the courage and grace we sport during our worst times that unveils our true selves?

Challenges makes us or break us. Life is not fair. It is very easy to be fragile, cry and howl, complain, crib, whine and hold everyone and everything that crosses our path as the reason behind our turmoil. In our cares, we often manifest into miserable creatures, liberally splashing all that misery on everyone we come in contact with. It takes substance, integrity and character - like the one this brave and wise woman sports, to face our downfalls and fears with grace and poise. Just yesterday this woman said  "A person who understands others' feelings is a great human" - I paused, examined the sentiment and smiled my brightest. In a world where 'others' is quickly becoming obsolete, I found  this exemplary woman, who, in her own complications, is still strong enough to look out for others.

I feel blessed twice, to have crossed paths with my friend, and to be a part of the family my Mother in Law hails from. Everyone in the household - that includes women in their prime with perfect health, (and of course, that includes me) had so far complained about back aches, head aches, upset stomachs, lack of sleep, PMS, boredom, lack of time, lack of rest and a gazillion other cares that I can't really list out - but the woman in her sixties, battling a life altering disease, sit there with an iron clad smile that doesn't budge from her lips. She doesn't even complain about the weather. I, every once in a while, pause and reconsider if my complaining about lack of sleep because the 'street dogs had a field day in the middle of the night' qualifies as a complaint to begin with. I freeze in this moment, in awe and wonder for all those lofty souls that endure through  thick and thin with utmost integrity, gratitude, grace and love. And I do hope, I evolve into a better person just because I am fortunate enough to know, observe and interact with these heroes and fighters.