Sunday, April 20, 2014

Q is for Quiet

Lull them to sleep,
The numerous voices
Drowning your peace!
The day that dawns,
Brings cares and cures!
Fret not.
Those commotions
Of catching up -
Of egos and Ambitions.
Lead you no where,
Pout not!
The noises of arguments
Within and without -
Pray where do they lead?
But into the abyss of havoc.
Grieve not!
Life lies in the Quiet
Of absolute calm
The passing moment
Of dusk and dawn.
Let the silence
Fill your soul -
To the brims of bliss!
                                          Picture - A view of Arabian sea from Taj, Goa.

Day 18 - P is for Parenting

Of all the tasks given to me so far, the task of being a Parent has by far been the toughest and the trickiest one. I rate myself as a good parent for the most part - until the introspection kicks in and I analyze my parenting methods and choices. Things get further complicated as I see as many methods and choices as I see parents and each one seems alarmingly different from my own. I do all I can to raise a responsible and reasonable child so the world is not burdened by a self centered, ungrateful grown up by the time I am done with my job. In the process, I administer time outs and disciplining acts just so my child doesn't get all messed up and heart broken at the next instance when a teacher, spouse or boss shows her a mirror when need be. I also realize, that I cannot be the best parent in the whole world, but strive as much as I can to do my personal best. When I look back at my own childhood and upbringing, I cherish the fact that my parents kept me grounded and always kept my expectations in check. They both were task masters but the beauty of their parenting lay in the fact that they gave us the right kind of attitude and approach towards life. The ground rules were iron clad but the freedom of thought and action we had really helped my sibling and me turn into responsible and reasonable adults or so I firmly believe.

I look back and think of what worked and didn't work for me in their parenting but it could be God's grace or good luck that I would not change anything from how it had been, just because I find my life so simplified today. I don't get into tangles of ego, comparison or expectations form others. It is saddening to see parents who are too pampering or disciplining. Life is about dealing with joys and heart breaks, successes and disappointments. If  children are not taught to deal with the cons of life when they are kids, they grow up in bubbles that are soon popped, leaving them vulnerable and hurt. 

I'd also heard form a wise mom, that no matter how we deal with our kids and raise them, there comes a time when each parent has a regret when they look back to reflect upon their jobs as parents and hope that they had done somethings better. For me, parenting is a lot more than it is made up to be - it is this selfless role one steps into that demands putting the kid before oneself and I hope more and more parents understand that 'stuff' and providing it doesn't comprise of parenting. The biggest gifts we can give our offsprings is our time and setting good examples. No matter what we teach, our children end up emulating us and that is where our 'lessons' should be focused - In leading by the right example and living the way expect our children to live.

Day 17 - 0 Is for Oh wow!

Sometimes all you need is just one picture! - The Scottish Highlands.

Day 16 - N is for Nature

Nurture the soul,
In your layers!
The mossy, intricate ones
Peeling through the woods.
The trees, the creeks,
And pretty beaks
Crooning Idylls.
Bathe in the froth
Of Sapphire oceans
Licking the salt off lips!
Frolicking in waves
Of perfect bliss.
Feasting the senses
On saturated hues
The reds, the muds
The greens the seas!

Day 15 - M is for Marriage

     Of all the bonds we form, Marriage seems to be the most intricate one. Whether it is arranged by elders, chanced upon at Matchdotcom or a true love culminating into 'till death do us part', Marriage is the big boss of all relationships. Parents come and go, kids come and go, even friends come and go at different junctures of our life...spouses remain in our lives to keep up with our ups and downs. Or do they? Growing up, I had been exposed marriages that 'worked'. It is not an exaggeration to say that I'd not heard of failed marriages in my childhood or early adulthood. Hence, the "Happily ever after" was so embedded into my psyche until later into my twenties, when I started looking at the nuances of failed or 'glued together' marriages.

     Come 2000s and my actual coming of age, I started looking at matrimony from close quarters. It probably helped me understand it better, cause I got into the institution barely after attaining legal adulthood. All the emotional and mental growth I'd gone through, was with my better half, haggling to adjust to the concept of individual opinions, differences and preferences. I learned it very early that a harmonious marriage takes work and an especially patient and tactful talent of knowing when to hold on and when to let go. When to give space and when to smother the spouse with attention. I thank my lucky stars for finding the guy that keeps similar sentiments about the 'wedding' paradigm.

     As I aged, I saw people gluing together pieces of broken hearts and feelings in hopes of making the spirit of marriage shine through and on the other hand, I'd also witnessed mindless battles of ego that made potentially wonderful marriages bite the dust. And then I heard theories of 'Why marriage kills love" and why 'live in' is the way to go. For me especially, Marriage is a wonderful bond that helps us accept someone else as the crux of our lives while loving them with all their pluses and minuses and being loved in return, in the same exact spirit. A perfect union is a myth - but the beauty of matrimony is the fact that a couple works as 'Us' and does the delicate balancing act of being and letting be. As long as we look at the possibility of an exit, we never really give our best shot at making things work - the workable things at least. I hope we shall preserve the holiness of this union for the coming generations cause pretty much the whole society sprouts form a balanced and happy marriage.