Sunday, April 20, 2014

Day 15 - M is for Marriage

     Of all the bonds we form, Marriage seems to be the most intricate one. Whether it is arranged by elders, chanced upon at Matchdotcom or a true love culminating into 'till death do us part', Marriage is the big boss of all relationships. Parents come and go, kids come and go, even friends come and go at different junctures of our life...spouses remain in our lives to keep up with our ups and downs. Or do they? Growing up, I had been exposed marriages that 'worked'. It is not an exaggeration to say that I'd not heard of failed marriages in my childhood or early adulthood. Hence, the "Happily ever after" was so embedded into my psyche until later into my twenties, when I started looking at the nuances of failed or 'glued together' marriages.

     Come 2000s and my actual coming of age, I started looking at matrimony from close quarters. It probably helped me understand it better, cause I got into the institution barely after attaining legal adulthood. All the emotional and mental growth I'd gone through, was with my better half, haggling to adjust to the concept of individual opinions, differences and preferences. I learned it very early that a harmonious marriage takes work and an especially patient and tactful talent of knowing when to hold on and when to let go. When to give space and when to smother the spouse with attention. I thank my lucky stars for finding the guy that keeps similar sentiments about the 'wedding' paradigm.

     As I aged, I saw people gluing together pieces of broken hearts and feelings in hopes of making the spirit of marriage shine through and on the other hand, I'd also witnessed mindless battles of ego that made potentially wonderful marriages bite the dust. And then I heard theories of 'Why marriage kills love" and why 'live in' is the way to go. For me especially, Marriage is a wonderful bond that helps us accept someone else as the crux of our lives while loving them with all their pluses and minuses and being loved in return, in the same exact spirit. A perfect union is a myth - but the beauty of matrimony is the fact that a couple works as 'Us' and does the delicate balancing act of being and letting be. As long as we look at the possibility of an exit, we never really give our best shot at making things work - the workable things at least. I hope we shall preserve the holiness of this union for the coming generations cause pretty much the whole society sprouts form a balanced and happy marriage.

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