Wednesday, October 05, 2011

This and that.

Sometimes, it becomes hard to write. The ideas cross the mind and vanish into oblivion within no time. There are people who inspire to think, to love and to rebel, there will be stories to tell, opinions to express and observations to record but it just becomes hard to write. Which kind of makes me wonder if having a routine and a commitment to be answerable is the only way one can be at their productive best. But blessed are the self motivated, self committed folks - the few of those folks who change the world for people like me. God bless their grit, their tenacity to outdo themselves and their love for living a meaningful life. On that note, to the few regulars here, I wish to apologize for not taking the blog seriously, since I notice that my quality of life improves when I ponder aloud on the world wide web.. It is almost like a soul searching monologue that the leading lady rattles in daily soaps. When I don't write, I feel a part of me missing from my being, so I hope to keep my commitment to write, as often I can, as much as I can. Thanks for the time you invest in my ponders and for the said and the unsaid comments - unsaid comments as well - since I believe they'll reach me somehow and make me better at my mediocre thoughts.
Much has happened over the course of the past few months. There were constant ponders in my mind's world about my choice of being a stay at home mother, the world around me, the art of raising kids, the tact of avoiding arguments and and most importantly, the life skill of knowing and understanding the people that make your life. Aarti had started her regular school as a kindergartner. It is just so liberating to walk out of the house early in the morning and to see little children marching to school like ants. Parents walk them - there is so much promise in the day when you look at it through that scene - children who have no sense of time pausing to jump in the puddle formed by the sprinkler on the sidewalk or to pluck the random dandelion to wish upon. Almost all of them look so happy to be marching to school. Some ride their colorful bikes and some come on their roller shoes, and once the bell rings, the whole scene comes to a hushed silence. I walk back home thinking about all the lessons that my little girl would get etched onto her mind in the process of growing up and finding something meaningful to do. I make a mental note to introduce her to classic reads, to make her paint and sing and to do all I can as a mother to make my little one give her personal best to her life. I read to her, I help her to read and instruct her diligently about washing hands and saying thank yous. But I see that no matter what I teach her, the things she learns are the ones that she sees me do. She doodles all the time, just like me - she likes nail polish, is into cooking and when she talks to kids younger to her, she uses the same words of endearment that I use and imitates my mannerisms to the tee. parenting is indeed a very serious job - we unknowingly leave so many scratches on their tender minds and leave them to live with that damage. I have to admit that I am being much more careful about what I say and how I say it in my daughter's ear shot - which makes me second guess myself about what I say out of her ear shot - like they say - a child gives birth to a mother! :-)

On a different note, I also realized that there is an element of good in every bad we notice. Sometimes we are so hard wired to see things in our perspective that we don't really see things for what they are - we especially do this mistake when we deal with our close associates - friends, spouses, parents. And when the mind is seeking the things that it doesn't like, it sifts through a lot of good to get to that little bad that is left back. when we look at what is not working for us, we just magically become partially blind - which causes great distress to ourselves than to anyone else. We confidently forget that there is so much in us that might not be liked by the people around us. I was just thinking - how blissful this world would become if we are a little more open in our mind's eye to look at things the way they are than to attach our own baggage to it. It is an exercise we all need to consciously practice.

And as a conclusion to this aimless ponder, I just wanted to say that envy seems to be the resident ruler of all vices. There is so much of it that I see in the world. I read somewhere that it is that fine art of counting another person's blessings. I see people who get insecure about other persons' achievements and accomplishments and take it as an insult to themselves. When each of us are concentrating on what is served on our plate, we'll have a hearty meal and a healthy mind. As much as we try to be better, we are all humans - but the uniqueness of being a human is that you get the opportunity to make a choice - a better choice, a sensible choice! I think if we look at others' happiness as our own, we have arrived. Or at least, we should stop looking at it as our misery. I hope that no one ever stoops to a level where they find happiness in someone else's misery.

Phew...that sums up the overly corny entry - Here's to a hope to find the inspiration and the will to write - regularly:-)

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