It is funny how my mind keeps churning stuff to write about all day and once I settle and sit down to have 'my time', I find it near impossible to write. Especially when I have a deadline. So, I was searching around to look for prompts to kick start a ponder and I came across Ruchi More's 'Ten Things I discovered about myself' and decided to use the prompt for my fourth musing.
It is amusing how I am suddenly at a stage in life where all I seem to discover is myself. It is probably the age I am at, or the series of events that occurred in the past few years of my life, that I keep finding form to the blur of my insides. It is probably ironical too that right at the point where I discovered that I don't identify with the 'I' as much it seems to be necessary for survival, I am here doing a full blown ego banter about the 'I'. Why not? I thought. My future self might enjoy looking back at this blog and being amused at the consistency of me.
So here are Ten random things about myself.
I find it near impossible to park myself before a screen or to push myself to go to the movies. I don't know what it is about wanting to watch a show or a movie at a stretch that puts me off like nothing else, no matter the content. Even the most engrossing of them fail to entice me enough to take the initiative to go to the theater and watch. My friends often drag me along once in a while, and if the company is dear to me, I give in and join them. Most of the movies I watched with full attention are the ones I did aboard Emirates EK225/226 cause I am tied to the seat and have little choices to keep myself occupied as I cannot fall asleep on a flight.
I am scared of crowds. I like being around my people but something about being in a group of people makes me very nervous. I am a homebody that can find a million ways to entertain myself at home but the moment I need to go out to socialize or shop, my first impulse would be to look for a way of avoiding those trips. I get drained in social settings, just by sitting and doing nothing, in a way intense house work can never drain me.
I am very gutsy and am seldom scared otherwise. People that know me at a distance might laugh at this, but ask the spousal unit and you'll get confirmation. Fear and Envy are emotions that I very rarely experience.
I find it hard to react to my own pain. I find it very hard to cry for myself. I have been through some major ups and downs without shedding a tear. Makes me wonder if I have a heart at all. But I can sense the pain of a stranger and react to it in a blink.
I have a nonchalance towards death. Deep down, I probably have a very strong sense of the spirit and I look at my own life in third person. At the risk of sounding cuckoo and insensitive, I don't look at death as an end. To me it seems to be a transition into something beyond the illusion of life.
I find it impossible to hold hurts and grudges. Perhaps the most adorable quality about myself is my ability to forgive and forget.
I am completely devoid of ambition. I don't aspire for any bigger things in life. I am not motivated by money, fame or a sense of achievement. My goals consist of doing the simplest, most mundane things a human being can think of doing.
My family calls me 'innocent' probably in lieu of naive or stupid. Grin. I thought they were wrong, but lately, think I am in agreement with them.
I enjoy being with nature, books, animals, kids, music and art. All of these have been my consistent companions since my childhood.
It takes a lot to offend me or put me down. I am an exceptionally secure person.
And for my last discovery about myself - I am very slow with my reactions which often make me wonder if I am abnormal in some way. I am more aware than I am alert. And my awareness makes me slow to my reflexes.
Geez...I hope it didn't reek of self love. Truth be told, I don't have a sense of self. And I hope I would never be in love, let alone with myself.
Instead, I hope to be love. At least, that's what I'd been discovering lately beyond myself, that love is not a feeling. It is a state of being.
Thank you for your patience and tolerance :-D
It is amusing how I am suddenly at a stage in life where all I seem to discover is myself. It is probably the age I am at, or the series of events that occurred in the past few years of my life, that I keep finding form to the blur of my insides. It is probably ironical too that right at the point where I discovered that I don't identify with the 'I' as much it seems to be necessary for survival, I am here doing a full blown ego banter about the 'I'. Why not? I thought. My future self might enjoy looking back at this blog and being amused at the consistency of me.
So here are Ten random things about myself.
I find it near impossible to park myself before a screen or to push myself to go to the movies. I don't know what it is about wanting to watch a show or a movie at a stretch that puts me off like nothing else, no matter the content. Even the most engrossing of them fail to entice me enough to take the initiative to go to the theater and watch. My friends often drag me along once in a while, and if the company is dear to me, I give in and join them. Most of the movies I watched with full attention are the ones I did aboard Emirates EK225/226 cause I am tied to the seat and have little choices to keep myself occupied as I cannot fall asleep on a flight.
I am scared of crowds. I like being around my people but something about being in a group of people makes me very nervous. I am a homebody that can find a million ways to entertain myself at home but the moment I need to go out to socialize or shop, my first impulse would be to look for a way of avoiding those trips. I get drained in social settings, just by sitting and doing nothing, in a way intense house work can never drain me.
I am very gutsy and am seldom scared otherwise. People that know me at a distance might laugh at this, but ask the spousal unit and you'll get confirmation. Fear and Envy are emotions that I very rarely experience.
I find it hard to react to my own pain. I find it very hard to cry for myself. I have been through some major ups and downs without shedding a tear. Makes me wonder if I have a heart at all. But I can sense the pain of a stranger and react to it in a blink.
I have a nonchalance towards death. Deep down, I probably have a very strong sense of the spirit and I look at my own life in third person. At the risk of sounding cuckoo and insensitive, I don't look at death as an end. To me it seems to be a transition into something beyond the illusion of life.
I find it impossible to hold hurts and grudges. Perhaps the most adorable quality about myself is my ability to forgive and forget.
I am completely devoid of ambition. I don't aspire for any bigger things in life. I am not motivated by money, fame or a sense of achievement. My goals consist of doing the simplest, most mundane things a human being can think of doing.
My family calls me 'innocent' probably in lieu of naive or stupid. Grin. I thought they were wrong, but lately, think I am in agreement with them.
I enjoy being with nature, books, animals, kids, music and art. All of these have been my consistent companions since my childhood.
It takes a lot to offend me or put me down. I am an exceptionally secure person.
And for my last discovery about myself - I am very slow with my reactions which often make me wonder if I am abnormal in some way. I am more aware than I am alert. And my awareness makes me slow to my reflexes.
Geez...I hope it didn't reek of self love. Truth be told, I don't have a sense of self. And I hope I would never be in love, let alone with myself.
Instead, I hope to be love. At least, that's what I'd been discovering lately beyond myself, that love is not a feeling. It is a state of being.
Thank you for your patience and tolerance :-D
"I hope to be love... love is not a feeling. It is a state of being"
ReplyDeleteam stealing this...