"How do you mean?" He asks
"Just like how I said it"
"But what if I ask how you said it?"
She shifts her gaze, looking intently at him and lets out a smile.
"Like how I never understood what it was to be a mother till I had our son"
"So do you mean I would never understand my mother cause I can never bear a child like a woman?" He challenges her.
She grins. "I didn't say you only understand what you experience. Feeling is an independent entity. you don't need to experience things to feel them sometimes and vice versa, unless it is physically felt, like a burn for instance. You can feel a burn for the most part. But can you understand something abstract without feeling it? which makes me realize, I never felt my mom's love for me the way it was supposed to be felt till I had a child of my own. What is the word I am looking for? Can you please supply it for me?"
"You do your own scavenger hunt sweetheart" He jokes.
"Empathy" - "That's what I am looking for. So, for the record, you can deliver a child and still not feel motherly, or be devoid of a reproductive system and still let motherly love seep through your every pore" She pauses. "Do I make any sense to you?"
"Hmm" he considers pursing his lips. "By and large" - "So is there anything I am not able to understand that you want to complain about?"
"Futile"
"Futile what?"
"Complaining, cause I have my shortcomings in the feelings department. I can never understand how you run from pillar to post, so charged and ambitious about your work nor can you understand how the moment I realized I was in love, I actually felt motherly love, except I couldn't identify it as such. Up until I realized how my mom felt for me"
They both sip on their tea. He reaches out for her hand and places a gentle peck on her fingers.
"I hope you feel it" He says. "Someone very wise told me today that you don't understand what you don't feel"
"It's for you to figure out..if I you feel what I feel"
"Do you ever make a straight conversation?"
"I do. Do you ever understand my conversation?"
"Now don't corner me"
They continue their banter like school kids playing hide and seek between emotion and assimilation.
Pic Courtesy - Dhiren Shah
