Finding voice.

All day today, I'd been jumping form one random blog to another. Some talked about memories of large cities, some about atrocities on women, some about the so called resilience of Mumbai which is actually helpless, some about ample bosoms and some about fashion fauxpaus. The more I dug into people's style of writing and pattern of thinking, I was coming back ponder on my own style and pattern. I once told my friend that I can recognise the music director if I listen to a song (based on the style of the song and the instruments used) and I actually do a pretty impressive job identifying them. Rahman usually has unusual instruments cutting through the flow of the song( Remember the harmonium in 'kehna hai kya - Bombay'? ) Anu Malik has a variation of the tune (or lyric) repeat thru the composition and Illiyaraja is all about electronic instruments, chirping of birds and sheer melody. Music needs a mention here since I'd long associated all forms of expression to creating music - Every person has his style, his own signature and his own melody that chimes in with the words and actions. I'd seen that most females my age are passionate about ponders with a cause - The ones that question social norms and rediclue stereotypes. At some point, I was really not sure if the profound voices lead to profound thoughts as well or vice-versa. So... how exactly are we supposed to find our voices, the features, the pseudo physical form of our communication? Is it difficult to establish a personality for a two-dimensional communication or does pausing at the break of sentence or stressing on the right word change our voice (things that are not possible when one types one's thoughts on to a virtual screen or writes on a piece of paper!) I sometimes find it difficult to imagine what a person must be feeling when typing say, a general scrap on Orkut or writing wall to wall on facebook if they do not say something like :-) or :-O or :-( at the end of what they type unless it is a obviously happy, sad or mad statement. These emoticons have become the voice of WWW connection. K seems to end her blogs with powerful questions and statements. The ones that justify her powerful topics. S has found a juvenile voice and talks about the Doc that could have kissed her the first time :-)) S seems to be so attached to his Bubin and all the blogs invariably end with Bubin said this, did that, laughed at this and grinned at that! No complaints here - Bubin became his voice. That's all - And it really is cute. I neither know or read enough about Josh, Kiara, Crimson or Lisa , the random bloggers to comment about the voice they have found. I for once, seem to be in a creative spasm but I keep on going in circles sometimes. Like I'd said in my recent attempts to write poetry, I have so many flashes that have the potential of finding my very own voice, but they seem to fade as quickly as they appear and I resort to talking about a conversation with Verse, a bout of anger or a search for Zebra print handbag. I think my current genre is 'abstract' or 'confusing' to be more accurate. I think I am safe that way and just camouflage my creativity with confusion or may be it is confusion as creativity. I am sure I am not searching for my voice, but I do hope I find one. Something that can make everyone have a glimpse of what I am feeling when I am typing something - my own abstract DNA, my own, my very own - what was that? Voice - I guess :-))