Influence

 

What have you?

Let me take a peak

Through  innocence's untainted panes.

My view crystal clear

My soul, a clean slate

What have you to show, what have you to scribble?

The village that you are, who would help me grow

Would you administer a caress or deal a blow?

As I sing and dance, jump and prance

Would you revel in my peace 

Give my purity an extended lease?

Would you leave finger prints or foot prints

Scratches or smears?

Through this panes that I watch, a flawless view

How would you enhance, or distort it?

Keep it plain, give me a good sneak preview.

For I grow up and become the world

In this relay race, let me be like I am

Frozen in the peace, seeing through the untainted panes

Of creation made in undiluted purity.

Pictured - Two dew drops of innocence, looking through their pure paradigm.

Obverse

 

Once upon a Christmas morning

An Elf so benevolent 

Worked overtime to load Santa’s sleigh

He wrapped a pair of feet

In red velvet Ballet shoes

Topped them with a silver bow

With sparkles and a golden glow!

By the chimney the pair waited

With many blessings and a breath baited

As they lent themselves to my unassuming frame

Bestowing a gift, realizing a dream.

The pair of feet

Lead  me to nowhere

Nothing awaits, no form no care.

I glided through pavers of love

Stopped and stared and inhaled  the magic above.

Once upon a Christmas morning 

Bliss knocked my socks off  

I was transformed to a land far off

A benevolent Elf slogged his heart off

To deliver a present 

The present!

Firmly planted there in, a pair of feet!

A grateful heart and a dream complete.

Veiled

I shift around, sift through

Swiftly I transcend 

Through the lanes of the brains

Letting them emotions

Getting not the best of my attention 

Like quicksilver 

I shape shift

Shades that many, like pixels in a picture 

Shuffling around in a camouflage 

Sly, slipping by

Flowing with the go, while going with the flow

I confirm to what contains me

No rigid angles that refuse to fit 

I fit in yet stick out

Like a defense mechanism 

Like a genetic mutation.

The many hues my scales don

Honing my histrionics.

Don’t be charmed

I am a charade

A make believe passing through

A mirage!

On that side of this defense fence

You’ll see me

When Nothing exist 

In between.

(Pic credit - George Lebada, Calgary Canada )

 

Brussel Sprouts and Bok Choy

(with a sprinkle of broccoli florets)

Along comes 2021 and I realize we are into a brand new decade along with a brand new year. What did that inspire in me? Nothing more than what stayed inspired for the few decades I walked this earth. I made sure not to make any resolutions, because my attention span is shorter than my 5 year old toddler's. So why fight the inevitable? Right?

While I didn't make any resolutions in black and white, I did, somehow, manage to do a purge of sorts in my brain. As always, being the tosser that I am, I made mental notes to toss away some expectations that weigh me down - expectations such as finally getting to write that book that I'd been trying to write since I was three. Now if you are one of those people that are encouraging me to write a book for ever, My sincerest apologies - I have officially, in writing (no pun intended), let you down. But I'll compensate for that in other ways, and you know I will :)

Speaking of expectation that weight me down, I should, but of course, tread the egg shell laden path of my weight loss goals. They too, officially, are given up. I came to make peace with the fact that gaining and losing is a way of life and it is going to happen when it is going to happen. Yeah, the non-dual philosophy got on to me quiet well and I seem to be at such absolute peace with my non ambitious, over weight self more than ever. Talk about coming of age.

Speaking of age - I feel it more than ever, this ageing process, thankfully not as much in my skin as in my wisdom, as yet! But we'll get there and we'll age gracefully - sans fillers and lifts, that we are pretty sure of. The anarchy of the teen tones down once in a while and spikes up - I keep up with that quiet gracefully, so all else should be a cake walk, literally! 

Speaking of literally, I know it was a slip of the key board usage and it doesn't fit in there in the above sentence. This literally abuse is quiet literally getting on to me - so bear with my jumping on the 'literally' band wagon and truth be told, I am quiet literally happy that I don't literally use literally like in every other word I speak. 

Speaking of speaking - I was told many a time, that I am a master of jumping topics and digressing mid way from what I am supposed to be talking. Which brings me, ever so gently back to Brussel sprouts, bok choy and broccoli florets. Apart from all these starting with a B and being the butt of all kids cartoons' barf inducing foods, and a trope of a title in this dope of a blog post, they aren't as infamously pathetic tasting as they are hyped to be. In fact, they make an appearance in my most loved veggie list of all-times. There are more hyped things in life, for the wrong reasons, like these wonderful veggies and I won't make a laundry list of them as they would mildly qualify as being opinionated and judgmental of popular stuff in main steam living.

Speaking of main stream living, I don't indulge or participate in it. I am literally happy in my small space, firing up my wok and tossing around these delicate darlings with a douse of soy sauce to be paired with a bed of, steamed snow white jasmine rice. I am content with this little blog space, taking my heads off to myself, where no one listens. It might qualify me to be a looney - but labels I care for, not! So I'll leave it at that.

And to the few of you, may be two of you (grin) who read and applaud to every word I write here - Mucho Gracias.

And to the world wide web - here's a toast for a healthy, happy, healthy, peaceful, healthy, prosperous (did I say healthy?) new year and new decade.

May the Gods and Gurus rain down upon you every thing you wish for.

The “How not to” guide for dummies

Disclaimer - All the below listed stunts are performed by professional easy goers - Please don't attempt to recreate these at home. The list is just for your reading entertainment. User discretion is advised.

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How not to lose Weight.

Start off by cultivating a serious hobby - a good suggestion is to hon your baking and cooking skills. Make acquiring all kitchen paraphernalia a pastime of sorts - those enameled cast iron pans made in France? Oh yeah - they retain the flavor of foods like no other pans can. The copper clad tri ply stainless Sautee pans? - but of course, they take the preparation of your vegetables and meats to another level of yummy. Buy those trending instant pots, air fryers - douse those cottage cheese blocks in a marinate of yoghurt and spices. Make cooking a cathartic hobby - dig through heirloom family recipes and cook at the drop of a hat. 

Then buy all the fancy table ware - remember we eat with all our senses and eyesight plays a great catalyst in creating an appetite. Listen to your skinny friend talk you into portion control. The world of baking is evolving like never before. Choose to make macaroons, bake gluten free vegan cupcakes. Craft that perfect panini with a generous basting of Avocado oil.  Let the taste buds have a party of sorts.

While you wear that step tracker, remember it is not your master. You are not its slave. You don't need to listen to it nudging to stand up and urging you to set goals. Don't set goals. That well meaning family member gifted you that wrist band alright. It can be used to keep time actually. Use it for that.

Speaking of time, all they say about it is absolutely true. Don't waste your most productive early morning hours breaking a sweat on the treadmill. Instead go for a leisure walk. Converse with the critters, spot the birds, smile at all passers by and wish them a happy morning. Heck you have the mask, it doesn't matter. Practice smiling with your eyes. It shows. Peoples eyes light up in response sometimes. Don't let grumpy, motivated people that zoom past you like gazelles in a NASCAR race dampen your spirit to stop and smile. Keep at it. The world needs genuine, caring smiles more than sculpted derrières.

And if the urge to keep at losing weight continues, take a snooze. There's nothing a good nap doesn't help us transcend. If you are not the napping kind, find a cozy corner in the nook, and settle with a good book, feet up. A cup of hot cocoa helps like nothing else. If still in doubt, grab a cozy throw and keep some crackers handy. That's almost as fool proof as it can get.

This  "How not to" would be a series - God willing :)

reVerse

 

I sit there, by that window - 

Looking out at the world 

Unfolding like a dream would 

It comes true - like sometimes it could.

I smile there, by that window 

Something on the other side

Makes the soul bloom from inside.

A stellar view spreads like a roadmap

Unveiling a treasure trove

I gasp there by that window 

Soaking in that truth above.

I cry there by that window 

It’s panes, reflecting my pains

Of almost forgotten strifes

Of almost healed sutures.

I heal there by that window 

Feeling it’s warmth hug me tight

I dwell there by that window

Making it a makeshift abode.

Sometimes darkness greets me

The pitch bleakness blocks me

But I don’t budge, I lean and let go

Sleeping by that solace of a space.

I swoon there by that window 

I know it’s there to be..

To unfold my joy my destiny 

As the dawn ushers in

Embracing me in that bliss within.

That window takes a form so sublime 

I wonder if it is just a window

Or a passage to another soul

Merging unto my own 

Making me complete and whole.

aMuse

 Phew...How can a month go by without me whispering into my word world? No sire. It cannot go by. So the customary verse, reverse takes a Muse aMuse moniker and off I go.

The first page on your story

And the last page on mine..

Bound in the same spiral

Printed in the same ink.

The words sublime, one of a kind

Like your thumbprints

Pressed onto my heart.

The first feelings in your tale

And the last in mine

Like a fascimile

Replicated to a fault

Foreshadowing the unknown

And my free will gets overthrown

In that sync.

The first flutter of your heart

And the last of mine

Tied into a ribbon

Twisted into a timelessness

Dwells like nothing

Feels like everything.

The first thirst of your soul

And the last of mine

Conjoined beneath

Dispersed in the delusion

Thrives through the tricks

Being.

And then, in that boundless 

Seamless fusion - there's no telling

If it is your first, or my last!

Pic credit - Rahul Pandit for Pexels.

Rune

 

The honk cuts through the crisp fall breeze

Like it slices through my peace!

I become a part of the worldly dart

That can't wait for a blink

I weave into the traffic of thought

Of racing, fast pacing, daunting daily grind

I put the hush behind and rush before 

I put the charge before and the calm behind!

I stream though challenge, swim through the routine tide

I falter and find my balance 

I slip and slide but steady my stride

When I get home, I bring an abstract load

Plonk in the couch and hydrate my inside

Going about on another rush of life

Laundry, Dinner, dishes and homework

The viscious cycle unfolds

I feel like I am walking blindfold.

And then, when I need a tight hug

A peck on my hand, a pat on my back

You come in like decadence

Like a dark chocolate square

Filled with macadamia cream

You snuggle away the stress, you dawn in like a dream

My abstraction perfection, my one stop shop

My coping mechanism, My cashmere shawl

You sweeten my monotony

You warm my skin

With your presence, my biggest treat

With your caress my precious retreat!

Photo by Elle Hughes from Pexels

Verse

But ofcourse, 

I am a Zilch

Yes, A Zilch - a Proper noun

Labeling the space that's I.

And when the naming happens, 

The zlich lets out a playful chuckle

At the irony of the process.

What holds nothing? 

May be I should rephrase this - 

What nothing holds? 

An abstract collage of moments

In the eternal now

Skimming through like a slide show

Filling the Zilch with fuzzy things

Like love and peace!

I am a zilch

Looking for words

To fill up worlds of illusions

Words knit in wool, words baked in kilns

To warm the skin and feed the gut.

A void I am, gaping at my being

Remembering Lennon of The Beatles

And quoting him when

"The hole of my life flashes before my eyes!"

I am a space - a vaccum perhaps

Looking to gather the cosmic scraps.

I am a verbal outlash

How funny, this I

Trying to capture the essence of Sky

In silence, in stillness and in space

While heaping up rubbles of references

And laughing at mind's maze!

Verse

 

I live to tell another tale

Of the love of blossoms

Marigolds, Hybrid teas, Tulips and Dandelions.

I live to take another breath

Of rapture in the rising sun

Lost in the flood of His golden warmth

Flicking away the shadows of the night.

I live to smile another smile

At a toddler's energy, a teen's anarchy

And a planet taking refuge in fear

Masking its face in the faceless threat!

I live to shed another tear

Of emotions that hover over the empath's head

Sensing the pain in a distant strain

Of a song strumming on the ukulele

Strung with choice fibers of the heart!

I live to let the insides beat

In response to all things made of love

I live to make the soul dream

Of a release from this mind's stream..

I live to dance to the DJ's tunes

Tapping my feet, swaying my head

Grooving to the full throated croons

Of myhnas in the distant monsoons.

I live to watch ladybugs and dragon flies

Having field days in the backyard 

I live to crush figs with my incisors

Devouring the bounty of the Being.

I live to grin ear to ear

At the Divine design, at the Aha Moments

I live to mess , I live to fuss

On this stage of make belive

Flowing with the illusion.

I live to learn, I live to know

To grasp what Is and the thoughts Let go..

I live to scribble another verse

I live to count the years in reverse!

How long did I live? I stand still and muse -

Let me count the ways to amuse

My inner child, the eternal being

Living yet another year, in absolute knowing

That she knows not beyond spreading her light!

Giving her love and basking in that delight.

The new and improved Repertorie

I remember that afternoon in March, like it was yesterday - or may be I remember it like it was from a decade ago. The local unified school district announced a month long shut down of schools as a precaution to comabt the rapidly spreading Covid 19. The brand spanking new virus on the block was freshly upgraded from epidemic to pandemic and Quarentine was to become the new overused word across the globe, like Tsunami became a couple of decades ago, when it first hit the Indian ocean.

I remember nodding my head in an Indian negation when I discussed the 'month long' break with the second born's pre-k teacher. "One month, seriously?" The animate Ms.R rolled her eyes while her chic bob swayed gracefully. "Well, we are always over cautious, we'll see" I added, hopeful that this was a healthy fear bordering on an over reaction and the schools might get back into session by the end of week two of the planned shut down. Little did I know that we are actually looking at an year long lock down at that point in time, a lockdown that would span over the calendar year and bleed into the new academic year.

And here I am, stepping into late August, with a week of 2020-21 school year stashed back into the past, as virtually as it could get. The first born started her high school and is doing her shelter in place with the deligence of a soldier - meaning, she is thankfully, fully independent and I continue to supply her three meals to her room while the second born's daily routine adds a unique layer to my  duties of the primary caregiver. In this new capactity as a guide to her online class experience, I spend a good 20 to thirty minutes of my day prepping her workstation for the virtual routine. Add to that her 90 mts f class time, and I have a good measure of my waking hours spent being a kindergarten helper teacher. I carefully print the weekly lesson plan emailed to us and dig through the stack of material, construction paper and writing journals that her class teacher made us pick up, to get her ready for the day. I sharpen her pencils, make sure her safety scissors and colored papers are in hand's reach and I sit with her while she manuvers through the instructions and shared screens of Ms. K's virtual classroom and boy, do I feel like I got a second chance at being a kindergartner again.

While I am getting used to and enjoying what I initially looked at as a chore, I am also in awe at the thought and heart that goes into the teaching and moulding of little kids in this country. I smile with smug pride at the thought that we are a part of a nation that provides world class education to its offspring, free of cost. That dear peeps, is the biggest blessing any nation could have and this very fact probably explains why USA is the pride and envy of the world. 

As we stream through the two hours instructions punctuated with two ten minute breaks, I see bright little faces, fresh as daisies, articulating their hearts out like little adults. "Ms. K, the yellow blocks are diagonal to each other - little miss A announces with a "Eureka" like enthusiasm and I smile tracing back my learning record and wondering when I knew the word 'diagonal' in my time line. 

Now Ms.K - a kind looking lady who had seemingly dedicated a better part of her life teaching, has a personality that shines through her pale skin and brunette hair. She brings the class pet Mabel, a baby pink elephant accesorized with a periwinkle blue and grey bow and makes her wave to all of us at the commencement of every day.  "It's okay to make mistakes" read the title of the first read aloud book in the class while Ms. K seemingly staged a 'I made a mistake yesterday' scenario and read through the book reassuring the little impressionable minds to know that making mistakes is the way of life and the road to learning. I sat back and gasped at the holistic learning that was happening in this space, the emotional intellect that was being nurtured and how I enjoy the perks of being a bystander and smile like my life is blessed with this unique and unusual opportunity of a second chance at a Kindergarten class. 

Looking back, I realize I miss my teaching gig and how wonder how much fun it would have been if I chose to be a kindergarten teacher. The twist is that I enjoy the bigger fun of being a kindergartner all over again, while being a part of my second born's first steps into the world of learning and witnessing her blooming into a well rounded little person first hand. 

And as if all these silver linings aren't enough, I see an epiphany in Ms.K's online teacher's site. It quotes Roald Dahl and speaks about belief and magic. And I realize, I had been a believer all my life and that's why magic finds me in the most unexpected crannies of my life - while canoeing through a pandemic, while wondering what happend to good old routine and while being on the wrong side of the wrong decade, but still pulling off a five year old's life with such joy and aplomb. Trust in magic Dearies - for you'll find it if you do. And trust my example :)