is for Zenith

There is a strange satisfaction in keeping up the word. Well, deadlines in other words. As much as I claim to be laid back, I seem to have an unsettled restlessness when it comes to keeping up commitments.  It acts as a saving grace to my routine, devoid of a routine. The past few days had enough challenges thrown my way - while my stiff emotional joints grappled hard to jump over the hurdles of life happening around me, I reveled in the fact that challenges are a good thing. They are an indication of the life left in us, of the fighting spirit, of our inner capacity that lies unearthed under our own inhibitions and self doubts. Challenges bring out the best in us - the forgotten components of strength, grace and creation of a force that enables us to stream through them. I look back and smile at the thought of not taking up A to Zee this year - kicked off in my foster motherland with that moniker and smoothly halted as A to Zed, right here in the land of Karma!

A pat on the back! - and a tired smile, that is the best of its kind!

:-)

Y is for You

Where's the invisible leash?
I wonder -
That you nimbly hold on your fingers!
Gently tugging me
Everywhere you go...
The world of mine
Doing a rotation, and a revolution
Around your thoughts and memories
Like a greed that never satiates.
Days roll into years, years into decades.
But the heart and its hopeless emotion
Tangled in your web of allure
Now where, I pray - is the invisible leash!??

X for Xerox

Sometime in mid eightees, my dad and his brother-in- law joined hands in a venture with the tag line Ram & Rao - the business introduced my uncle and an edifice of a xerox machine into the expanse of my dad's office space. My siblings and I flocked around what looked like a cargo vessel with finer details magically produced copies of documents in a hazy shades of grey. The unit that occupied most of a 12x12 room stood like a land mark in dad's office, drawing eyes and feet to it like a focal point. Each time a customer came in with a mark sheet, property deed or a birth certificate that needed to be copied, we used to cautiously stand out of the boundary of the room and watch without batting the eyelids. There were several steps involved - it almost looked like a woman going through gestation, forming and nurturing an independent being in her womb. There were seeds of the leafy vegetable Amaranthus and a soot like fine powder in jet black that was sprinkled into one of the retracting drawers before the final copy slid through the opening that had a tray which caught the end result. The xerox machine was a promise of the technology in the offing and the pride of our home business. Time rolled out into decades and we saw the automatic counterparts of the very machine spring into being, that occupied only a fraction of the space and were a 1 2 3 easy operation. Now when I look at the copier, printer, scanner and fax machine we have in our home I fondly trace back to the childhood days where small things were big and big things were small :)

W for Want!

Take me back,

To that distant dusk

Where sun sinks into the earth!

Engulfing the air

With cool chills..

Just when I miss the fire ball

And his melting warmth

The soul takes a different form

Thawing to the moonlight!

Picture - Sunset in Santorini, Greece - summer 2013 ( Clicked on my iPad)

Day 23 - V for Vigor

On vines of my lashes,

Bloom dreams of love!

Vibrant, vigorous, robust, bright!

Until you set your peepers

On these budding emotions,

They lie in vain..

Pining for your longing glance!

U for Under

Miles of nerves
Vials of  blood
Heaps of thoughts
Deep down those veins!
Streaming through the being
Your sweet reminiscences
Unearth with every breath!
Under but not over with..
The bond bound to your cords
Strangles my dreams
Crushing them below
The weight of this wait! 

Day 22 - T is for Tea

Taking a chance,
Tinkering with atypical topics...
Translucent waters
Tampered with pouches of
Tiny granules.
Taste the brew,
Traveling through unseen insides..
Tepid warmth, engulfing the gut!
Take over the day
Timed perfectly with the morning cuppa:-)

Day 21 - S for Silence

There was the faint sound
Of a pin dropping on the marble floor.
Feather weight feet
Gliding on...
The rustle of leaves, lulling the mind,
The distant chirping, the dearly lub dub
Amplifying into the ears...
As the crazy heart thumps
Agitatedly onto the chest!
Mum surroundings
Maddeningly loud..
Shattering the silence.  

Day 20 - R is For Rhapsody

Randomly, it happened!

Rapture encircled her thoughts.

The first ever bloom

Of tipsy enamor.

Tender, silly

Though intense and mad!

Crushed in those dew drops

Melted by dawn.

The very first spell

Of a magic called love!

It dissipates..

Ruefully, into molten ashes

Of eternal loss.

Q is for Quiet

Lull them to sleep,

The numerous voices

Drowning your peace!

The day that dawns,

Brings cares and cures!

Fret not.

Those commotions

Of catching up -

Of egos and Ambitions.

Lead you no where,

Pout not!

The noises of arguments

Within and without -

Pray where do they lead?

But into the abyss of havoc.

Grieve not!

Life lies in the Quiet

Of absolute calm

The passing moment

Of dusk and dawn.

Let the silence

Fill your soul -

To the brims of bliss!

                                          Picture - A view of Arabian sea from Taj, Goa.

Day 18 - P is for Parenting

Of all the tasks given to me so far, the task of being a Parent has by far been the toughest and the trickiest one. I rate myself as a good parent for the most part - until the introspection kicks in and I analyze my parenting methods and choices. Things get further complicated as I see as many methods and choices as I see parents and each one seems alarmingly different from my own. I do all I can to raise a responsible and reasonable child so the world is not burdened by a self centered, ungrateful grown up by the time I am done with my job. In the process, I administer time outs and disciplining acts just so my child doesn't get all messed up and heart broken at the next instance when a teacher, spouse or boss shows her a mirror when need be. I also realize, that I cannot be the best parent in the whole world, but strive as much as I can to do my personal best. When I look back at my own childhood and upbringing, I cherish the fact that my parents kept me grounded and always kept my expectations in check. They both were task masters but the beauty of their parenting lay in the fact that they gave us the right kind of attitude and approach towards life. The ground rules were iron clad but the freedom of thought and action we had really helped my sibling and me turn into responsible and reasonable adults or so I firmly believe.

I look back and think of what worked and didn't work for me in their parenting but it could be God's grace or good luck that I would not change anything from how it had been, just because I find my life so simplified today. I don't get into tangles of ego, comparison or expectations form others. It is saddening to see parents who are too pampering or disciplining. Life is about dealing with joys and heart breaks, successes and disappointments. If  children are not taught to deal with the cons of life when they are kids, they grow up in bubbles that are soon popped, leaving them vulnerable and hurt. 

I'd also heard form a wise mom, that no matter how we deal with our kids and raise them, there comes a time when each parent has a regret when they look back to reflect upon their jobs as parents and hope that they had done somethings better. For me, parenting is a lot more than it is made up to be - it is this selfless role one steps into that demands putting the kid before oneself and I hope more and more parents understand that 'stuff' and providing it doesn't comprise of parenting. The biggest gifts we can give our offsprings is our time and setting good examples. No matter what we teach, our children end up emulating us and that is where our 'lessons' should be focused - In leading by the right example and living the way expect our children to live.