The other day, That was actually more than a month ago, before the shelter in place was implemented, The second born and I were getting ready for her pre-k drop off. As I juggled her bag, water bottle and her cuddle toy that she was to share with her friends during circle time, I instructed her to find her jacket and wear it so we won't be late.
I kept an eye on her as she collected the jacket and slipped her little hands into it. This was one of those knit jackets she has. "Did you get your jacket on?" I asked.
"But this is a sweater!" was the quick reply.
Over the years of being a mother, I realized one thing. I don't get into a banter when there is a bait for such. So I said - "Yes, it is a sweater. Did you put on your sweater?"
"Yes I did!" came the cheerful answer. As I was dashing to the door to load this tot in her car seat and drive away, the much dreaded banter took the front seat. Now 'sweater' is a term she picked up form her grandparents back in India. It isn't very mainstream in the US. So over to the banter now -
"Amma, why is a sweater called a sweater?, do you wear it when you sweat?"
Now, what better would you expect of my child right? But I really was thinking to myself how to approach this discussion. I answered - "Actually, a sweater is something you put on when you feel cold"
"That doesn't make sense" She added. "The name is so funny!" "Why would you call it a sweater then?"
That dear brethren, is why I don't engage in QA sessions with a four year old toddler, or even a 14 year old teen - I mean, the topics of dissection would be different but you have this frozen brain moment where you are torn in between feeling dumb, or confused or both!
While I dropped her off and drove back home, I had this plethora of things that are named in all confusion hit me from right left and center. For instance, why would you call a console table a console table? It is just to one wall of your entryway - consoling what?? I mean, why do we have to name things this way?
I mean, I am sure there is etymology to all this nomenclature but what if we take this senseless naming and look at it in our head space, the space where we name everything that we are put through. if we were to make sense out of everything, do we really need a name tag to it? When we go through an experience, there's a lot of residue that it leaves back - emotion for instance, or a judgement. A wound sometimes, or a smile. But what if we examine a mistake and instead of being stuck with that name, give it a twist and call it a learning? What if we examined a failure and called it a stepping stone, what if we look at an enemy and called them a 'team player' that teaches us something?
Or what if we didn't try to make sense of everything and just let them be - let them come, pass through and leave without a turbulence, without this confusion to name them and hold on to them - what if we just let them go and seamlessly move on to the next moment without the residue of the sense that we made out of it?
May be we could look at a hurt and be so stuck with it that we miss the 'blessing' it could be if only we were not so bent upon calling it a hurt.
Today, I didn't have the urge to write. I was in that 'leave me alone mood' brooding over nothing in particular. May be the air quality is a different kind of heavy now - with all the transmission of fear, uncertainty and emptiness we experience in this global pandemic that had literally reduced us to prisoners in our own home - with no parole in sight! Whoa - that was a heavy thought. But when I remembered how a sweater was named so confusingly, I got this new angle to look at my lack of 'mood' to write.
Yet, here I am, with an entry. Trying to make sense. May be I should just abort that and be in the moment, welcome it as it is, live it as it is, without this commentary. After all, we don't need to name everything and shove it into our baggage to lug it along!
Let's leave sense to the senseless and live!
What the Trope this life. Thug Life - So - L my dahlings is for Live after all ;)
Pictured - the packs of mackerel going somewhere - They don't have a name or a narrative for that journey. They are just at it. Living it up!
Shot with my smartphone in Montery Bay Aquarium - CA.
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