We all have, hopefully at least one person that loves us beyond our wildest imaginations. Someone that makes us step back and wonder, or look around to confirm if it is really us they are targeting their affections at, or if it is someone behind or beside us they are eyeing and if we are caught in an optical illusion. "Who me?" We'd mouth in a dazed state - beside ourselves with doubt! - I had the good fortune of experiencing such love from this young woman on the other side of the globe. One fine morning, while I was entertaining myself in a lonely monologue in this blog of mine, she discovered me on the world wide web. "I am your biggest fan" She'd say. "You find words for my feelings" She'd continue. "Your writings make my day better" She'd gush - and the self conscious, self proclaimed writer in me would gape at the adulation, clueless and baffled. Soon enough, She and I become fast friends. I realize upon a few interactions that she enjoys the same kind of music as I did, was studying Electronics and loved to play the guitar. I needed a name for her, a name I would address her by and then I called her 'The little one'
The little one wasn't all that little in person - she stood as tall as I am and she has a smile that could light up a room (I know this is a cliche, but the cliche doesn't go far in describing her smile, may be it lights up the whole town) - her eyes squint as she flashes a row of perfectly white teeth that makes me wonder if her tooth paste has salt and lemon in it! The little one and I exchanged letters, lengthy conversations, music, and even a miracle stone that made wishes come true - and by exchange I mean, I was at the receiving end of most of them. Sometimes she was at the receiving end too, of discourses,constructive criticism (read being shouted at) and reprimanding as and when the situation demanded. She soaks in all of it with unconditional love. When I was going through a very turbulent time in life, a few years ago, She sent me picture books and tender loving care to cheer me up, for which I am greatly indebted. She wore her white GShock I sent her till it turned a dirty brown, just to proclaim all the love she had for me. Then the little one got hitched and transformed into a mom. A baby Virgo girl promptly substituted the 'guruji' in her life. Or so I thought.
Little one surfaces consistently, albeit sporadically to make sure her guruji remembers her. She squeals in joy every time I write a blog. Specially, when I banter in elaboration and don't resort to a verse. "Keep writing blogs not poems Dee" She'd request. "Why?" I'd ask "It is so hard to get your verse" She laughs. And I laugh too at the thought of how blind love makes us.
The other day she pinged me out of the blue, jumping straight to a question. "When are you writing a book?" Now that I am used to her abruption, I text a LOL emoji and say - "When ever it is time and you are ready to pay to read my *insert mild expletive* "But let's see if a clairvoyant tells me I am going to indeed be a published writer"
"He'd tell you it'd change lives as well, when he tells you you are going to write a book" She fills me in instantly. My heart skips a beat soaking in all that love. "Life has been a roller coaster the past year, I don't know if I can write anything close to a book" I'd smile.
"That it has been always, ever since I know you! A roller coaster. How does it slow you down now?" She challenges me.
I pause. Speechless. Sometimes we can never wrap our head around our blessings. Or why and how we come to deserve such love, such adulation. Such hero worship.
All this ponder brings me to Jallaluddin Rumi. "The Beauty you see in me is a reflection of you" I repeat the quote subconsciously.
"I am musing all September - I add" - "Yay" she squeals amid peals of laughter. "Make sure they are all not verses" She warns me. "I shall" I promise.
I look far and wide for inspiration sometimes. Specially when I know I have a commitment at the end of the day. Several thoughts crossed my mind today, that had a potential for musability. But I thought, I'd make this first person banters more about my dear ones than about myself. I know, I write about her love for me - but like they say "To be loved is nothing, To love is something, to love and to be loved is everything"
The little one made me realize that even the most ordinary of things can look extraordinarily illuminated if you throw on the light of your love to look at them. It is all, as they say, in the eyes of the beholder. Thank you Little one, for the bright spot you are, for the timbre in your laughter, for your disgusting genre of jokes that haven't evolved since your kindergarten years, for renouncing your 'wish granting' stone for my sake and for being honest about the non comprehensibility of my verse. I would, If I could, thank you enough for all the 'conditions don't apply' fondness. XOXO
Picture Credit - Chaithanya Kanni
This is such a lovely post.
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