The “How not to” guide for dummies

Disclaimer - All the below listed stunts are performed by professional easy goers - Please don't attempt to recreate these at home. The list is just for your reading entertainment. User discretion is advised.

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How not to lose Weight.

Start off by cultivating a serious hobby - a good suggestion is to hon your baking and cooking skills. Make acquiring all kitchen paraphernalia a pastime of sorts - those enameled cast iron pans made in France? Oh yeah - they retain the flavor of foods like no other pans can. The copper clad tri ply stainless Sautee pans? - but of course, they take the preparation of your vegetables and meats to another level of yummy. Buy those trending instant pots, air fryers - douse those cottage cheese blocks in a marinate of yoghurt and spices. Make cooking a cathartic hobby - dig through heirloom family recipes and cook at the drop of a hat. 

Then buy all the fancy table ware - remember we eat with all our senses and eyesight plays a great catalyst in creating an appetite. Listen to your skinny friend talk you into portion control. The world of baking is evolving like never before. Choose to make macaroons, bake gluten free vegan cupcakes. Craft that perfect panini with a generous basting of Avocado oil.  Let the taste buds have a party of sorts.

While you wear that step tracker, remember it is not your master. You are not its slave. You don't need to listen to it nudging to stand up and urging you to set goals. Don't set goals. That well meaning family member gifted you that wrist band alright. It can be used to keep time actually. Use it for that.

Speaking of time, all they say about it is absolutely true. Don't waste your most productive early morning hours breaking a sweat on the treadmill. Instead go for a leisure walk. Converse with the critters, spot the birds, smile at all passers by and wish them a happy morning. Heck you have the mask, it doesn't matter. Practice smiling with your eyes. It shows. Peoples eyes light up in response sometimes. Don't let grumpy, motivated people that zoom past you like gazelles in a NASCAR race dampen your spirit to stop and smile. Keep at it. The world needs genuine, caring smiles more than sculpted derrières.

And if the urge to keep at losing weight continues, take a snooze. There's nothing a good nap doesn't help us transcend. If you are not the napping kind, find a cozy corner in the nook, and settle with a good book, feet up. A cup of hot cocoa helps like nothing else. If still in doubt, grab a cozy throw and keep some crackers handy. That's almost as fool proof as it can get.

This  "How not to" would be a series - God willing :)