In between Lines

She paces down the corridor in anticipation. She has taken care of  every last detail. There are bright Chrysanthemums in the vase - the enticing smell of blue berry muffins wafting through the length and breadth of their eclectic home. She thinks of his obscene sweet tooth and smiles while filling the candy dish with the gourmet dark chocolate truffles she got from his favorite shop in the downtown. 

wood wick candles make crackling sounds in the background illuminating the fireplace mantle. She loves candle light and the sound of water. The table top fountain sprays a mist as it gurgles in glee. 

The door bell rings. Her smile blooms ear to ear. She adjusts her hair and opens the door. Their eyes meet. He lugs his bag into the house. "How was the flight?" she asks. "Not bad. But the trip was hectic. I could barely sleep zooming past so many timezones"

"Lunch is ready" she offers "Take a shower, eat something and go to bed"

He nods in agreement, smiling and holding her from the side. She awkwardly places her head on his shoulder and says "Hurry up. You look famished"

As she sets the table he approaches from behind "Look what I got you!" This is an announcement she doesn't like to hear. The smile from her face disappears. He pulls out a sleek case and puts it infront of her, offering her to take it from his hands."What is this?" she asks looking blank. He senses what's about to come. "Open it" he urges. You might like it.

She opens the case and finds a mother of pearl watch with a silver chain. Her taut face stays nonchalant. She snaps the case close and looks at him annoyed. Her features shrink into a frown "And why do you think I need another watch added to the two dozen watches I already hoard? Do I look like I have a lifestyle for a watch wardrobe?" 

"But you like mother of pearl" He pleads "And this one is going to look so good on your wrist. You can wear it as a bracelet if not as a time piece"

She looses her cool "How many watches, purses and scarfs do I need? You know I don't know how to respect these expensive accessories. I  don't like what you bring home time and again. It is negative energy in the home when I hoard them and have no use for these gifts. Didn't I tell you I don't like or need gifts? When would you really honor my wish and not impose your own preferences on me?"

Her voice becomes shrill. She loses all her natural cool and darts out of the nook. He follows her with the case in his hand "But I wanted to bring you something. As a token of love. You are on my mind when I travel and I feel good when I get you something"

"And how about you think about how I feel for a minute? You just keep at it no matter how many times I forbid you from splurging on things that don't matter or indicate anything to me. How about you, for a flash, think of what I want instead of what you want me to want??"

She knows how these episodes go. She makes mental notes before he comes to not react to these regular occurrences. She writes down lines in her journal ' 'accept what he brings you, don't fuss about them' - But the moment she sees those gifts something inside of her transforms into a momentary alien that doesn't in the least behaves like how she actually is. It is amusing how these triggers slay her and make her succumb to the emotion, to the loss of temper. She looks cross, flashing her meanest best look in his direction and walks into her study, closing the door after her. He stands outside gently calling out to her "Honey - I know you don't like these, the next time around, I'll make sure I'll get you something you love"

"I don't love anything, and please give up on searching to find and bring home the things I love, now leave me alone" She yells back, settling on the floor, leaning into the wall. An awkward silence fills the space and he walks away to take a shower.

She sits there for a while, losing track of time and losing grip on herself. She leans into her knees and sobs silently. Letting out all the stress of missing him, of being this wonder woman juggling work and home, being his pillar of strength. The wonder woman jumps out the window and she is time and again face to face with the inner child that cannot really extract into words all the relief she feels and the release of all the missing she undergoes while he is away.

She walks out of the room, gathering herself, setting the table and serving the food. He comes in like a reprimanded child. 

"Next time around, I won't bring you anything you don't like" He assures her. She stays mum and serves him food. But a part of her wants to scream out that it is not the gift that makes her react, it is not the irrelevance of it. It is just the fact that she misses him so sorely and her brave act fails her. She just needs a pretext to cry and wash that pain away - his gifts offer her the perfect domino effect. She wishes to tell him that no materials can compare to the comfort he brings her and he really doesn't need to put any thought to choose what she loves - cause when he arrives, he has taken care of it.

The silly woman doesn't want to take the aid of her words to convey this simple fact. It is probably because she wants to be understood without a word being uttered. The peekaboo of their communication gaps surface in these gift bringing rituals. 

He holds her hand and draws her close to him. They hug tenderly in silence where the unspoken angst melts and love fills in the space between them. But the unsaid words linger in between the lines.

 Blessed are souls that understand the unspoken language of the heart.