We have been putting off some home improvement for a long time, possibly because I happened to do a lot of it in my mind and on the design board - I feel that too much of thought can be a kill joy. When you speculate too much, it kind of withers your spontaneity and the projects fizz out into oblivion. But then, we were presented with a 'can't but' situation when the stove top broke and it was too outdated to be replaced. Hence the domino effect came into play as the counters were to be replaced to update the stove and suddenly, we see ourselves in this big mess of dismantle, and an ambitious project of rebuilding the kitchen around the bare walls and redoing the floors to get rid of the carpet that's been lying around for a bit too long. Now, I am not going to bore you all with my taste of interiors and my domestic dreams. As all of this got me into a bigger picture than that.
I firmly believe that God puts us through 'situations' to make us empathize with the world around us. Without adversity, there isn't appreciation. Without struggle, there isn't success... yada yada yada....All these sound like such armchair philosophy but when we are in a situation, where we actually experience things - this experience, by God, paired with the right amount of introspection can do wonders to your soul evolution - As I plan not to make this about my spritual journey either, I cautiously come back to my ponder - about the Mess and the lesson thereof.
The first couple of days were spent in getting a grip on emptying the 'stuff' out - suddenly, I was swimming in the figurative sea of consumerism. I looked at the things I gathered and was awed by the 'need' we have to accumulate - I am happy to report, that my favorite place to shop - Home Goods, felt like a torture chamber post emptying my kitchen. I have a fresh perspective on anything kitchen related as that happens to be my downfall into stimulating the economy, if you know what I mean ;)
I had a makeshift kitchen operating out of a near cluttered nook table - the table in question was housing every little thing we needed for survival, sharing space with a modest induction stove. My dosas came out looking like sad faces drooping at the end, most of my elaborate preparations were reduced to 'dump all in cooker and blast the temp to the highest setting' mode - This is survival at the toughest I had experienced so far. I suddenly started feeling powerless. Like my day is a Girl Scout survival camp in the deep woods, away from all worldly comforts. And, the chore I loathe of all - washing dishes - I would not get started on how this was escalated to a whole new level of torture in the dingy laundry sink located in the dingy laundry room that also doubled as a pathway for the workers to come in and out of the garage, where most material was housed. I don't in the least, intend to make this a pity party - as I have no reason to pity myself. I am just putting things in retrospect and musing about the epiphany that was presented to me in the 'teachable moment' life had presented me with.
'S h one t' hit the fan when the demo of the hard floors came into picture - rancid smell of the power tool scraping the concrete through layers of existing hard floors, saw dust flying in all different directions, messy surfaces doused in the residues and war zone like sounds and thuds gave the perfect background score to a royal mess as I ship the toddler out with the dad, quarantined in the safe confines of my room, doing a recap of things I am going through. I, once in a while peek from the railing to see this young man with protective gear working through the mess like a war hero. Every time his eyes catch mine, he nods in greeting with a grin splashing from ear to ear. "Si Senora' He would say and I smile back. I see the other workers engrossed in their duties like saints in meditation. An older gentle man keeps humming to himself while he works away. I suddenly feel so spoiled, like an entitled brat and this renewed empathy for people going through all kinds of mess floods my insides. "I don't have a working kitchen to make some coffee for them" my guilt complex kicks in. So does my conscience, nudging me to see the epiphany. I think I have upgraded myself to empathize with people going through real time messes - displacements as a result of natural calamities, compromises due to financial challenges and the unseen emotional clutter many of us cruise through in this big bad arena called life. Suddenly, I feel one with all of these challenges, wanting to reach out and do my part and help - instead of just being a word warrior and musing about these things in elaborate articulation. So for now, I'll do what I do best, give my lesson a word form - for every mess out there, be it emotional or material, I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know I'll very soon cook in the kitchen of my dreams, laden in white cabinetry and mosaic back splash and I wish, to each and every one out there in some kind of a mess, that God is overlooking and He shall reveal to you the fruit of your fortitude.
As for the spiritual quest, that I promised I wouldn't linger upon - guess what? Tough! I am going to (grin)- but in a 'short and sweet' fashion - here goes - Every challenge we face presents to us an opportunity to learn, to evolve - only if we brace ourselves, snap out of our self pity and look over at the horizon. Let each mess bless us in ways we cannot imagine - in ways that draw us closer to the ring of our souls. Amen.
💞👏
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