Day 6 - F for forgiving, forgetting.

As a child, I used to be endlessly charmed by the daily prayer we said in our school assembly, that was addressed to Our Father in heaven - which said, "And forgive us our sins - as we forgive those who hurt us, Oh, Forgive us our sins! When I heard those lines, it stuck to my immature, evolving sense of right and wrong that "Forgiving" is more divine than anything else in the world. And then I grew up. I saw a fair share of forgivers, non forgivers. I saw vengeful behavior that was pretty understandable. But more often than not, being vengeful is a two edged sword - when you seek revenge, you also inflict a part of that hurt on you. There are people who lead enemy centered lives, changing their course based more on how it would effect the enemy than it would effect them. I recently read a quote which said - "By forgiving, I give up my right to hate the person who had hurt me." But the point is, what would we achieve by hating? May be solace, may be just a satisfaction that we're undoing the damage done to us. I had to reply to the message saying "Forgiving saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred and the waste of energy" - it is not an original quote but one that I'd read as a child and I'd held on for a long time. I did cross paths with people who I despised. I probably led an enemy centered life for a few days - trying to do things based on what the other person was doing. I nurtured the hatred with a steady supply of negative emotions, anger and loathe. But then it dawned upon me that when we let it go, we are free in a whole new sense of the word free.

A few years ago, I'd followed a news that shook the nation - a gunman that entered a school and shot innocent children in a Parish community. I was moved to no end to read that Parish folks that interpret the bible literally, the very parents who'd lost their children to this mindless, senseless act of a suicidal gunman, actually forgave him and attended his funeral on the side of their own off springs. Now, this is an exemplary event - something that most of us would not have the courage or will to do. But on a smaller scale, there are things that people do to us - cheating, lying, robbing etc. These acts seed in us the same negativity that they are born from. It is very tempting to retaliate to an insult and I think it is human nature. But when we make that retaliation the center of our universe, we miss out majorly on enjoying the better things in life. Yes, it is a prerogative of the wronged to avenge for it - but it becomes a parody when our own instinct to avenge for it poisons us from within to a point where we become mentally equal to the ones that wrong us. When you love someone, you house them in your heart and when you hate someone, you house them in your mind. In your mind that lets you discriminate from good to bad, the one that distinguishes us from other species in the world. Forgiving is an enormous feat, divine - easier said than done - but blessed are the ones who, forgive, forget and move on with the positives in life.