Glass bubbles.

While enjoying a scoop of cake batter ice cream and admiring Marie Osmond's after pictures in Nutrisystem pop up ad, It stuck to me that I have a ponder about - no, not weight loss anymore - but about a thing or two about parenting, sportsman spirit and dealing with disappointments in life.
Aarti's third birthday celebration was totally unplanned until last afternoon. I decided that I'd finally had to throw a mini birthday party for her just to keep up my word. So I decided to gather a few girls in the neighborhood and plan for a high on merry low on money princess party. A part of the high on merry thing was the plan to crown the best dressed princess of the evening.
I informed all the moms that there would be a "best-dressed princess" title and prize to be won and all girls should come prepared:-)
It all was received with much enthusiasm till a mom I spoke to this evening sounded skeptical about the idea over the phone. "I think the other girls would get disappointed" she said. For just a flash of a second, I reconsidered my decision to name a best-dressed little girl but then I thought - is it really a good thing to shield our babies form disappointments? I mean, in the bigger picture, the whole world runs on a choice of the best in the perspective of the person or group making the choice and all of us cannot be winners. So what if one of the little girls really outdoes the rest of them? Can we teach our kids to recognise excellence in all fields and appreciate it? Can we - instead of telling them that they are the best, show them how to gracefully accept not being on the top and strive to reach there and also appreciate the ones who are ahead of them?- be it playing dress up or solving algebra problems? I think we can. We should. We cannot put our children in glass bubbles and show them only victories and no loses, smiles and no tears and Achievements and no disappointments? Can we in the long run promise them only the best life has to offer? And will they really appreciate winning without losing and achievements without pains?? So , I really think I'll bring up Aarti teaching her to accept herself the way she is and bending and accepting defeat when the situation demands. If she ever has a sibling I'd love to teach her and her sibling that life will never offer them the same things and thus, I cannot buy both of them shoes or clothes because I am buying it for one of them and the other might get disappointed or might feel that I love their sibling more. Nay, never so. I think I need to do things only on an as needed basis and raise them secure enough to understand that being in a glass bubble that Shields them form disappointments will not take them anywhere. Now, there might be arguments that a three year old might not need to face all the brutal truths of life right away...but what can a child accept in future if she cannot accept sharing a toy or calling someone else better dressed? Yeah, there will be yelling and shouting, perhaps tears but eventually there will be peace within themselves and in their surroundings.
So, should we not all prepare our children to gear up and compete and nurture a sportsman spirit in them? may be we should. I certainly should and I will start it by picking the genuinely best dressed little girl on Aarti's big day!