Enemy.

Fortunately, I am one of those gifted people that would not hold grudges so I am about to talk about weight loss, my enemy for life.
Just around Aarti's first b'day, I thought I would lose 20 pounds by the time she is 18 months. Now she is 23, I mean almost 24 and where does my weight stand? Just 5 pounds lesser than what it was a year ago on a bad day and 8 pounds lesser on a good one. So I thought I should probably give up fighting with that enemy of mine. Or should I just change my strategy? Oh, wait a minute - It could be lack of motivation. Or is it will power? No matter what it is weight is here to stay and loss is, well....anything but loss of mass! The state of the art treadmill journeyed from the living room to Aarti's play room and one of these days, it'll probably carve a niche for itself in the garage. Right now it is being used as a station for drying towels, heaping Aarti's mega blocks before they reach the toy box and of course it also functions as a "wow" factor for all the girl friends that walk into our house. "Do you walk daily?" they ask innocently, like I'd suddenly appeared 20 pounds lighter. "Do I look like I do?" I make a joke of myself patting my post partum ponch.
And this enemy appears ubiquitous. All my girl friends barring one (that comes to mind instantly) are "pleasingly plum" like we'd started calling ourselves. We sit and chat incessantly about joining weight watchers, hatha yoga classes or sometimes even about going on a crash diet like the "cabbage soup" one. Some of my friends with the 'funny bones' go to the extent of calling their mass "takes the shape of the container" etcetera. We drool over size two jeans and cute spring dresses. We promise to stop one another when we are going for that extra helping of pizza or ice cream. We remind ourselves that we look at overweight people and think that they a)have poor life styles (or) b)are lazy (or) c)eat a lot (or) d) all of the above and some one who is watching us might think the same thing about us. we justify ourselves that being a little over weight is good in child bearing years.
Okay, so back to the enemy itself - so how do all those people on nutrisystem diet lose a whale of weight , like a 150 pounds? How does getting on the ab glider or rider or roller or what ever it is make you get post partum abs like that of Madonna? How does going on a weight loss boot camp or turbo jamming make you a fashion model? I have no idea - since I am the one that could not lose 2o pounds in a span of 12 long months.
Pathetic! Isn't it? well, may be not. I kind of think I am comfortable with who I am. Or may be I need to second guess myself. Okay, may be I am not really as horrible as I think I am. Or may be losing that 20 pound would make me look like a beauty contest winner or better yet would add a decade to my life. May be I'll wrinkle soon and weight loss really doesn't matter at that point in life. Am I really that vain? Gawd...I am vain! Oh, no I am not.

So...what ever the out come is, the argument continues and this self critical Virgo will go on criticising herself like billions of not so self critical women belonging to the other zodiacs. The bottom line....my enemy, weight loss and I, are going to have a long, unenduringly unending and fruitless relationship for life.