I have a feeling that this is going to get windy and wordy, but hey, I am talking to myself so to speak - so what's the harm if I indulge in a soliloquy anyway? And the regular readership - I know a few of you love me. Unconditionally. Thank you for that - now make yourself comfortable and read on....
There are certain days you get a little reflective. Now, we are a household that doesn't take days and dates too seriously. Nevertheless, there are going to be dates that your loved ones would remind you of and cue you into a celebration. I get queasy around celebrations, specially if they are thrown in my honor - But reflecting comes naturally to me - it is an intrinsic thing so to speak, and so is writing. So when reflecting marries writing, it becomes a writing block busting blog post. And it becomes a signature ME:)
So, what's this dread about ageing seriously? Isn't that a huge industry, the anti ageing thingie? The bad news is that all those lotions and potions won't work. You cannot combat wrinkles and loss of collagen with coconut oil or 24 carat gold or even sunscreen. It's like trying to duel a tyrannosaurus with a fly squatter. And the topography of our face changes with the experiences we face in life. Embrace that change and don't do invasive stuff - I mean, I have noting against nips and tucks, just that it isn't going to change much internally and we are still heading to the grave this way or that!
And here's the good news - it is seriously a number, this age. Nothing more than that. I know, it sounds like desperation in wordage, but trust me. Barring a few outward tell tale sings of the process , we are stuck at an age in our heads. Work on that number - let the counter break down at a good point - like at sixteen or twenty eight...it really doesn't matter. Just make sure that the number is something you feel good about. Mine is stuck at eleven. I know - barely in grade school, barely pubertal. It doesn't matter. I have a whole collection of pencil cases that's growing as we speak to prove the case in point. Now that I have my mental age established and set aside , here after, I'll get the lessons I learned into a listing format. Easier that way, given what all is crossing my mind, begging to be said.
In no particular order :)
(And apologies to all those stuff that isn't being said! - Some other time dear stuff, some other time, if I miss it this time around)
*Money is never enough. Full stop, Unless you work really hard at making it enough. There's a secret formula to making it enough, and it is called - contentment. Work on applying that formula when ever the 'not enough' alarm goes through the roof of your grey matter. Enough said.
*Paid college is good, accumulated assets are good, prestigious degrees are good - giving all of the above to our offspring is wonderful - just as long as we don't forget that our time and attention are better than good and wonderful.
*Elaborate degrees are overrated. Success and career are overrated. I had seen many educated, decorated individuals as deep as the neighborhood kiddie pool. Emotional intelligence is the key to a happy life. Wisdom overrides knowledge.
* Perfect Human is an oxymoron - no matter whom you love, they are going to hurt you, knowingly, unknowingly or in a helpless situation. Make peace with the fact that no one is perfect (and that includes you) and relationships are work. A lot of work infact. It's not to say that you need to become a door mat, but more often than not, if you are looking for that perfect partner or friend, please rest assured that it is all harnessing unicorns and harvesting gold at the end of rainbows.
*True love exists. And it is rare. We fall in love once. Yes, just once. Congratulations if you'd fallen in love. It is the best thing that happened to me. Now don't mistake just anything for 'falling in love' - a good rule of thumb is that when you fall, it is a one way pit. You don't get out of it. You just stay put. If you had gotten out of it, I am sorry to burst your bubble but truth is bitter. - it could be attraction, infatuation, pulverization, crush, lust, plain love or whatever else name you fancy. Anything else but 'Falling' in Love. And 'not falling in love' isn't a bad thing at all. I am not taunting you for it. Most studies point in the direction that our first love and last love is self love. BTW, the 'object of our love' changing doesn't matter. Falling in love is change proof. It is a chemical change. Full stop.
*Be true to yourself. Opinions and approvals are BS. Trying to prove ourselves to others is a futile exercise. When we stay true to what and who we are, we attract what we need and repel what we don't. It's really that simple.
*Don't fall prey to Ego - no one can put us down. No one intends to offend us, insult us or make us feel little. At the most they are trying their best to make themselves big or they are blissfully unconscious and unaware of how their behavior and words are going to effect you. Most people operate out of their own insecurities and you are not on their agenda in a bad or good way. No one has the time to think about you. Take nothing personally, not because you want to be this 'holier than thou' specimen but because, in the end, it's in your benefit and not in the benefit of the other party.
Most importantly, don't be this kind of a jerk to others - till everyone in the planet knows that nothing is to be taken personally, it'll be taken personally and when we irk others, we are making - ta daah...Enemies! Unless you are looking for enemies, steer clear of jerky behavior!
*Don't judge. There's no need to sort everything everyone does as good bad or stupid. And not judging saves us a lot of time from not gossiping. Just as money isn't going to be enough, our time isn't going to be enough. Money, we can still earn, beg borrow or steal. There's no knowing how much time we have left and there's no way to source it from somewhere else.
*Whether we like someone or hate someone, we stretch it in our own heads. Apply emotions cautiously.
*Life is short and unpredictable. We subconsciously acknowledge that and buy insurance, but we consciously don't apply it. Do what you have to do, when you have to do it. Say the things you intend to say. Express yourself. Spread love. Understand, empathize, give, share. I don't care what those self help books say about putting yourself above everything else - but thinking of others and being nice are invaluable. They change the whole vibe of our world.
*Our mind is our projector. Everything we see, we see as we want to see it. Not as it is. So we should make sure we have the right perspective.
*Competition is useless.
*Never put things before people - doesn't matter if the 'people' is some stranger on the road. People first - everything next.
*Don't blame anyone for anything. We all have things that go wrong because of some external factors. but when we put the blame elsewhere we carry around a disability that stops us from taking charge and changing our life situation.
*Smile - it is magical and infectious. The bigger the grin, the better.
*Don't hold on to grudges. Don't try to get even or vengeful. There's no way we can fight fire with fire.
*Don't chase people. If it isn't given to you voluntarily, it isn't worth it.
*You don't need to win every argument.
*Stand up for what you believe in. And believe in the fact that our happiness comes from inside. Peace is a choice, happiness is a choice and we can choose peace in any given situation.
*No matter how dire life gets, there's some reason to be grateful. Be thankful for whatever you have. Don't fret about what you don't have. We all don't have it all.
I guess, I'll stop here. Or may be I'll just go on with one last thing.
Faith has nothing to do with religion. Have faith in the higher power. It's all premeditated it'll all work out the way it has to work out.
Oh yeah...and Meditate. Once we stop the minds, ah well, we cannot stop it like we can kill a car engine, but once we kind of stop it - it happens! It really does. What you might ask! Don't ask. Don't trust my word for it. Sit still and give it a try!
And zero sugar and zero fat is bad! Enjoy the full fat sundae. Pls check with your physician before following this advice.
Yeah...don't forget to Smile! A friend of mine used to tell me that it's the second best thing we can do with our lips...Bless her heart!
:)
