Friday, February 06, 2009


Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-- William Shakespeare

This one was one of my most favourite poems and works of Shakespeare when I was a teenager. My cousin once wrote this to me in the numerous letters we exchanged as Friends, literature lovers and pen pals. She used to send me poems in English and Hindi literature and even lyrics form movie songs that were dripping with love. She and I - both fantasized to find true love the way Shakespeare, Akthar and Bachchan (the senior poet Bachchan!:-)) described it - without impediments, without alterations and all that:-)

I grew out of romantic lyrics, verses and Mills and Boons but found Love similar to what Shakespeare perceived it to be. Now , fifteen years from when I first read and fell in love with the sonnet, I feel that my own perception and scope of love has broadened, matured and evolved enough to see that Shakespeare was talking about the marriage of true "minds" and the love here is not the romantic and amorous kind alone that exists between a lover and love. Now I look at Love more as an underlying universal emotion that keeps the lives of all living creatures going - including trees, animals and human beings. Yeah, I said trees. Dating back to middle school, I did read a lesson in English where a scientist proved that trees that are loved thrived better. And I actually performed his experiment on the December plants(with flowers that bloom in December , named after the month:-) in our backyard. I would say to one plant aloud " I love you" and turn to the plant adjacent to it and say " I don't love you" Eventually, it could be my imagination, but the hated plant bloomed less.

So the point here is to love. And also the point extends to loving without admitting impediments, alterations and any other hindrances love might encounter. Love, be it the one we share with a close friend, a sibling, a significant other, our own child or ourselves should be unconditional. It should give room for mistakes, heartbreaks, imperfections and still keep on at loving and rising above all these things. I know of great friendships that were ruined because one of the friends caused the other some pain. I know of broken marriages since one cannot accommodate the mistakes/shortcomings of the other and I know of perfectionist parents who disowned their kids because they chose their partners against the parents' wishes. So are all these actually love or something else? It is one thing to not budge from loving when we have external factors involved but true love is something that accepts the other person as he or she is without trying to change them the way we want him or her to be. Aarti is unruly sometimes. I have a back ache and she wants me to carry her. She doesn't let me go to the toilet peacefully and wants to go poop the minute I server myself my meal. I get irritated but never cease to love her. She is my baby and I bend the way she wants me to bend. Eventually I'll have discipline come in but I am sure I'll forgive her for all her known and unknown mistakes and I'll not nurture the hope that she'll grow up to be the person I like her to be. I think that is mother's love and that is the purest of all.
If I ever have a problem with a friend or a sibling or any person that I remotely love, I'll have to love them in the purest possible way - like I would love my child. Impediments, alterations and heartbreaks should look for adobes somewhere else. And I will be more forgiving on myself and be faithfully in love with the soul that lives in my body as well.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.
Love is not love which alters when it alterations finds:-)

Thursday, February 05, 2009


Just the other day, I was catching up on Entertainment E! television while flipping channels to find Barney and I saw a program about plastic surgeries on celebrities. Ashley Simpson's nose job was highlighted and then there was this hoopla about how Ashley said she was comfortable with who she is and how she looks time and again till she got her nose chiseled. And then, voila, Ms.Simpson has this perfect profile:-) and she stopped talking about being comfortable with herself (owing to obvious reasons!)
I look at people around me and also at myself - we all seem to have things, physical things - that we'd change about ourselves. My sis G always wanted to be a tad bit fairer since everyone back home used to tell her that she and I look exactly alike except for her darker skin tone :-)) I used to tell her (honestly) that I'd trade my complexion in a blink for her perfect nose. (and I seriously don't understand why people think we look alike - I think I am a mediocre version of her, no false modesty or inferiority complex here - just telling things as they are)
S wants to be a little taller, another female S wants to get rid of her "pear" silhouette. Another S wants a better nose, P wants a fairer skin tone. K hates the "apple" bod. Another female S ( I know my life is full of S es...Phew...! No pun there!) hates her heavy arms. A thinks she is way too short. T hates her thighs. S (again) thinks she has a weird mouth and chinky eyes. U loathes her nose. R wants a head of hair real bad. A hates her butt and K hates his height.
So anyway, the point here is that we all have our own vanity and at least one thing that we'd like to change about our appearance. We take aid of cremes, knives (in extreme cases), braces, trimming undergarments etcetera and satisfy partially our efforts to look perfect. I am sure Aamir khan would have loved to be a little taller, Shahrukh would have loved a better nose and Sridevi...well, did she not surgically enhance her nose? So the so called perfect stars have their share of pet-peeves too about the way they look.
How does it matter if our teeth are not aligned perfectly and you are balding thanks to your maternal granddad and uncle? How does being a darker shade of brown or wearing a bigger size of pants matter? Does it to the people around you? Or does it matter to the person in the body alone? I never look at a bald guy and go..."how would he look with a full head of hair?" No, not even when I look at Akshay Khanna. I think he looks hot with or without a full head of hair. The other day I saw a pic of the yesteryear actor Kirshna wearing an obvious, dense and obnoxiously black wig that stood out like an eye sore. I'd have appreciated him more if he'd acted his age.

A few years ago I fixed a little gap in my front teeth. Ever since my permanent teeth came out, I always loathed the un-alignment of my otherwise tooth-paste commercial perfect teeth. The day I fixed it, I was so glad and couldn't stop admiring my perfect smile in the mirror. But looking back, I miss my little aperture. It probably made me more cute - more believable, human and one of a kind. I got over that thing I wanted to change and now I seem to hate the way I gain weight on my face. My chipmunk cheeks as I call them are dying to get back my high cheekbones exposed and the distinct jawline out. I know, we are never happy cause we are way too vain! My cheeks never make a difference to my hubby. He thinks I have a cute, child-like face. My lil girl tells me time and again that I am very pretty. (though she just repeats to me what I tell to her!)
I wish to be like Rajni Kanth - his own self off screen and very comfortable being who he is. I wish I would like myself, accept myself that way I am made - one of a kind, unique and special - apertures, chipmunk cheeks and all that:-) I wish. I wish.